lunesque

Hahaha. Dude, since the last time I updated, I think I've written like, six more Flash fics? /o\ And I actually finished The Break Up of the Ice, which officially makes it my longest completed work to date. I'm shocked and astounded.

Also, now writing a story that I suspect will be twice the length of BUOTI. This is ridiculous. I've fallen behind on my wordcount for April Camp NaNo, but I've gotten the first chapter of my Coldflash soulmate AU written, and I'm starting to unpack the second and third chapters. It's weird--I'd fallen out of writing chaptered work for so long, but there's something really comfortable about returning to that form. I like chapters, they have an ebb and flow to them when done correctly that I really love, so it's nice to get back into that.

After I finish typing up this entry, I'm going to update my fic index and let myself feel accomplished for a while. :D

( Here I talk about spending money, and work, and other Real Life things. It got a little long. ^^; )

You know what I hate?

When bad managers say 'If you don't get better at X thing..then SOMETHING is going to have to happen.'

Yeah, like, what? Fire me? Demote me? If you're going to threaten me, you should do it for real, and while we're on the subject, calling me out on something you think I've done wrong in public, during the time I'm STILL TRYING TO DO THE JOB YOU THINK I'M SHITTY AT? Not cool.

I really need a new job. Like, yesterday.

Those moments when you blink and realize half the month's gone? I've been having those a lot.

Every time I do something, I get stoked and think to myself, I'm going to make a DW entry about that! And then I go to sleep and then, inevitably, work is the next morning and I lose all energy for everything, and I want to sit like a sloth and stare at the wall. I doubt this is healthy.

( Work story )

You know, I love working at the store. I like the majority of my co-workers, but this is seriously high school bullshit. We have four assistant managers and one general manager, and I legit feel like each manager is carving out a portion of the store and we're all about to have a territory fight over associates. I don't want to work under these conditions. It stresses me out, it makes me cry at least twice a month, and I'm so damned exhausted all the time that I barely have any creativity at all anymore. I feel wasted away into this big gray block of nothing.

Ugh. All I want to do is write queer fairy tale romances. Why is that so hard?

Okay, flist. Make me feel better. Give me a fairy tale prompt, and I'll write you a fucking queer goddamned romance. THIS IS ALL I WANT IN LIFE.

Everything has been eaten by work and sick kitty care.

I have today tomorrow off, so maybe I'll exist more then.

Taking my cat Artemis to the vet today. She's been really sick for a while, and I just can't not take her to the vet, even though I don't really know if I have enough money for it. I'm just terrified they're going to advise putting her to sleep.

I was advised by dungeonmarm to tell this story, I guess to have proof of what a horrible human being I am.

You see, one of my earliest memories is about my Mom's dog, Damon.

He was a German Shepherd, and Mom had him for years and years. The memory that's stuck in my head forever, though, is one night when I was about three. At that particular point in time, I remember Mom buying me a cheeseburger from McDonalds, and I was in one of those weird phases where I refused to eat most of the sandwich. I decided that I hated everything about it except for the meat patty.

So I was carefully parceling out my meal when DAMON CAME UP TO ME AND SNATCHED MY MEAT PATTY OUT OF MY HAND. DDD:

And I've hated that dog ever since. Yes, I know I'm 30. Yes, I know it's silly to hold a grudge for that long on a badly behaved dog that's been dead for years now. It doesn't matter.

Now. Dad said to me a while ago that he couldn't believe I was still holding a grudge. (And let me tell you, I hold grudges like NOBODY'S business) and he said that he wanted to tell me a story that he hoped would make me feel better.

So he told me about how he once took Damon to a park for some exercise, and didn't put on his leash. And at some point during that walk, Damon saw another dog and went tearing off after him. Dad called his name, trying to get him to heel. Damon looked back, because he knew he was doing a bad thing, but kept running.

And promptly smashed into a tree.

Apparently, it was bad enough that he yelped in pain and misery, and Dad had to carry him home from the park.

And you know? It actually does make me feel better. Knowing that he was a dumbass and smashed into a tree and hurt himself has somehow, strangely, made me less bitter.

My blood feud with Damon is over.

It only took me 27 years. DDD:

Sometimes my dad is really sweet. I've been feeling like crap because of that car accident last Friday (and thank you to everyone who wished me well. I know there's some people I haven't responded to, and I really want you to know I appreciate it, even if I haven't said anything directly) and Dad just brought me some hot chocolate so I didn't have to move. ♥

I was lying on my bed scrolling through tumblr, and Artemis came and stood on me and looked down. And then just stood there and waited until I scooted over so she could lay down next to me. I love my cats.

Wow. For the past two days, I have consistently woken up at one pm, which is nuts. I haven't slept like this since I was a teenager.

In other news, dungeonmarm and I ran about Lowes and Home Depot to look for things for his costume and had a little luck. He was awesome and bought me lunch at Blackwoods, and then we marathoned the last few episodes of Doctor Who series 6. I don't particularly care about Amy, but Rory. He might actually end up being my second favorite companion after Rose.

I have hit 13,000 words on the Thor/Loki story that I'm not writing. DDD: Damn stupid, epic plots. I hate you. I should just delete it, because it is all id fic.

I think I want to try NaNoWriMo again this year, less for the sake of writing 50k in 30 days, and more just to get myself into the habit of writing consistently again. It hasn't worked as a motivator since I beat it in 2008. I'm beginning to think I don't have the determination necessary to be a professional writer. Uuuugh.

Conway people:

Are we going to see Avengers on Saturday? If we don't see one of the 3D showings, we could go at 11:10AM, 2:40PM, or 6:10PM.