lunesque

Hey! Here I am, walking in with Starbucks, three years late. It blows my mind that it's been so long since I've posted anything, especially since I do come to dreamwidth regularly to check in with the people still here.

So let's talk about what I've been doing!

* In October 2020, I slipped on some wet grass going down a hill and broke all three bones in my ankle. For the first time in my life, I had an overnight stay in the hospital, because they had to operate on my ankle to get everything back in place. I'm mostly okay now, and I made my last payment on the medical visit this month!

* Work has been... interesting. When we last left off, they'd shut down for three weeks whil e we figured Covid out. Then we reopened, they made me the greeter in charge of counting customers and maintaining a customer limit in the store. I live in Arkansas, so you can imagine the amount of anti-mask sentiment I had to deal with. As of right now, I'm fully vaxxed and one of three associates at the store still wearing masks. I got Covid for the first time last August--although it was mild, I'm not looking forward to getting it again. In more recent news, I'm a coordinator again, and they've placed me solely in charge of training, which I do enjoy. I'm taking it as a win.

* In an attempt to force myself to write more original fiction, I've had a website and a pseudonym set up. It's here, if you want to look around. Paying for a website hasn't encouraged me to actually write all that much, but I think it's a good investment.

* My dad is still a fervent concert-goer, which means I am too. I enjoy them well enough, but sometimes I wish he'd just let me vegetate for a little while. We had two concerts back to back in both March and April, but he wouldn't believe me if I said I needed a break from the fun!

* I haven't been officially diagnosed, but I've become increasingly positive that I'm autistic... which explains SO MUCH. Also, since I'm actively trying to stop masking, I've realized how much effort it takes to pretend to be neurotypical.

* In fandom news, I'm still actively writing coldflash, although I've been slowing down. There's no other media that's hooked me in the fiction sense, so I guess I'll just ride this out until it's over. (I haven't been watching The Flash since season 4. I feel like a bad fan.)

* I'm going to actively try to pop in here more often. I've been thinking about why I've avoided DW for so long, and I think it's equal parts of 'I don't have anything to talk about' and 'I'm on group chat with my friends so anything that seems important gets told to everyone I know immediately.' I think if I treat this more as a journal than as something more performative, I'll feel more comfortable writing about myself and my feelings.

* I love bullet point format, btw. It's so easy to change subjects this way!

I told myself that I would try to make more of an effort to post on DW, so here goes.

I woke up this morning at 8:30am, and it felt absolutely luxurious. I don't know if that's a product of me getting older, but damn. I sincerely miss the days when I could sleep until noon. Of course, these days I have a cat who harasses me if I don't feed her and give her attention when she decides she needs it, so perhaps she's another reason.

Also, having gone from being unemployed to 15ish hours a week to 35+ now that I'm a supervisor, I'm shocked at how much energy it takes for me just to exist. I get home, and all I want to do is watch television, read fic, or sleep. I feel like I have no energy for creative projects, and that kills me. For the past couple of years, I feel like my writing output has been about 1,000 words a year, which is ridic. That doesn't count everything that isn't finished (like my 13k Thor/Loki fic, or my 50k SPN fic omg that should have been finished FIVE YEARS AGO.)

That's enough about writing, because damn, I'm depressed about that.

In other interesting news, I got my hair cut, which was badly needed, so now it's asymmetrical and short-layered in the back, and I went to Memphis with dungeonmarm this weekend! We went to the Pink Palace Family of Museums on Friday, and then after his hair cut (he has really curly hair, so he's been going to a Deva trained specialist named Melody, and she's really cool) we went to the Memphis Zoo. I hadn't been to the zoo in I don't even know how long. But we spent about five hours there before we drove home. I learned that Dominos actually makes a pretty good veggie sub, and that there is a Chinese-fusion place near the Memphis Zoo called Mulan's which had really, really good veggie lo mein. And the best rice. Man, I'm having a rice craving.

I took tons of pictures on my phone, though, so if you guys want to see any museum things or zoo animals, just let me know!

I did not, however, get any keychains. There weren't any that appealed to me, and that made me very angsty. There's always next time.

So, Artemis died about fifteen minutes ago. Um.

I'd kind of expected it to happen tonight, because while dungeonmarm and I were watching Doctor Who, she threw up all over herself and didn't have the strength to move or clean herself up or do anything but collapse in a heap. After dungeonmarm left, I gave her a bath to clean her up and held her for the rest of the night. She had a seizure at three o'clock and then faded away.

I hope she was comforted by having me there? I don't know. I keep crying, which, you know, I expected. But now I'm not sure what to do next. I'm not sure if I should bury her or find some other way to take care of her, and Alex keeps running around the house trying to find her and I'm so tired and not really ready to deal with this yet? Even though I was expecting it? IDK.

She's not suffering anymore. That's the important part.

Sigh. The Violence Against Women Act didn't pass, because partisanship sucks.

So, for better things, have Batman Villain Mash ups. Trust me. Just look. It's awesome.

Story of the day: ( cut for a teeny bit of cat tmi )

Sometimes my dad is really sweet. I've been feeling like crap because of that car accident last Friday (and thank you to everyone who wished me well. I know there's some people I haven't responded to, and I really want you to know I appreciate it, even if I haven't said anything directly) and Dad just brought me some hot chocolate so I didn't have to move. ♥

I've had a pretty eventful week so far, I feel.

On Saturday, scheherezhad, dungeonmarm, Zarita, my dad and I all went to ComiCon-way, the first annual comicon for our little city, and it was pretty fun. We stayed for two hours or so, and we got to see Storm Troopers and two Deadpools dance Gangam-Style, so I figure our con experience was solid. I also saw a panel on Batman and Psychology, and Zarita bought me Batman and Psychology: A Dark and Stormy Knight, so that was cool. I didn't have any money (because I am super, super broke) but as I didn't see any Batwoman, Renee Montoya, or Violent Messiahs merchandise, I was okay with it.

Seriously, sometimes I look at my fannish obsessions and wonder why I'm so intensely attached to them, but I guess every fangirl wonders that.

After our con visit, we went to Layla's Diner for dinner, and it was really good. I'd like to go there again sometime.

Tuesday and Wednesday I worked. It's so difficult to be in the work mindset again, because I really, really enjoyed having nothing to do. However, after working customer service on the phone for so long, it's nice to see people's faces again. People really are nicer face to face.

Yesterday, dungeonmarm had a day off, so we went to the comic book store and had breakfast at Stoby's before I went to work, and then after he picked me up again, and we went to the theater to see the encore showing of the Met's Otello. Verdi's music was wonderful, but the libretto was awful. Otello's singer was basically in blackface (D:) and while his voice was spectacular, his acting...really left something to be desired. (double D:)

The Tempest is playing on November 28th, so that might be fun to see. It's in English, though, so I'll be very sad if they don't give us subtitles, because I can barely hear as it is.

Today, I have been lazy, because shark week has started, and I have to go to work tomorrow. On the other hand, I have the weekend free, so yay?

As for NaNo...ha. I am so full of fail, I don't even.

My dad is soooooo drunk.

Case in point:

Dad: I had some drinks because I didn't have to drive.

Me: I can tell.

Dad: I had some drinks and now I'm HAPPY.

Me: It's kind of sad, because you're making it sound like you're happy for ONCE in your LIFE.

Dad: LOLOLOLOLOL *hugs me* IT'S NOT SAD. IT'S HAPPY!

I now have a part-time job! Orientation is Thursday.

Of course, the first thing my father does is complain that I'll make less than I'm currently making on unemployment, but I don't care. My unemployment's about to run out, and a part time job will help me cover my bills.

I also voted today!

( Gratuitous Voter Boobs! )

This weekend, I did stuff! It was very strange. On Friday, I baked a cake and dungeonmarm and I ended up watching Red State. We also kind of fell in love the the Netflix Max function, only to find out that they're testing the feature and might not even keep him. ANGST.

On Saturday, we were super, super bored and tired of staring at screens (I have a fic I need to beta, but it's just not happening) so we went out for lunch at Blackwood's and then chilled out at Starbucks for a couple of hours, where dungeonmarm knitted and I talked about my crushing ennui and how it took me fifteen minutes to get a fork and eat three bites of crushed pineapple. And then he mentioned that his neighborhood has a private park! That has access to the lake! So we went swimming. I love swimming. I'm going to take advantage of it way more often now that I know it exists. :) After that, we had dinner at Wendy's (where I tried to be good with a salad and ruined it with french fries that were completely sub par) and then sang Karaoke Revolution until 4 in the morning. IDK.

Today, however, I did laundry, watched some anime and a kdrama with my father, fed my cats, and then PASSED OUT. I just woke up, and I'm feeling sleepy enough that I'll probably go right back to sleep in a little while because wow. I must have been tired.

Today I turn 30!

Birthdays kind of start to lose power as you get older, I think, and that makes me sad. I'm 30! It's a nice, round number. 29 was just awkward.

Today, I:

* was not allowed to sleep in, because Dad was like, I already gave you your present and it's time for laundry.

* got a free burrito from Taco Bell, because the manager likes us and it was her present to me.

* am going to hit 12,000 on the Thor/Loki story that I am not writing.

* watched anime and two (three?) episodes of a Korean drama because no one was here to rescue me from my father.

* am really annoyed at my cat, Alex, because she isn't using her scratching post at all and is also being an incredibly distracting nuisance.

* secretly looked at my zombie story. shhhh.

* am avoiding Tumblr because apparently the Teen Choice Awards were tonight? And the only person from the Avengers who got an award was Chris Hemsworth? AND I SO DO NOT CARE.

* am pretty sure I'm doing both birthdays and fandom wrong.

* turned in my resume for a job! You know, like I should have been doing for the last three months.

Also:

Saw The Dark Knight Rises. Hated Bane. Loved Catwoman. I also waxed fanatical to lady_krysis about Avengers vs X-Men. BECAUSE OMG ILLYANA RASPUTIN AND SCOTT SUMMERS YOU ARE MY FAVORITES EVER.

Btw, Captain Marvel is a really good first issue. I haven't cared very much for Carol because I'm not all that into the Avengers portion of the Mavel Universe (movieverse nonwithstanding) but it made me feel for her, and—made me want to go with her to see where she goes next.

Finally, I'm down to the last of my over-the-counter inhalers, which means I will have to officially go to the doctor sometime in August and confess to them that my breathing problems are actually way worse than they think they are so I can get an official prescription. This sucks. They'll also complain about my weight, I'm sure, although I actually weigh less now than I did three years ago. FML.