![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I'm so old.
I'm twenty four today. Life goes on.
Anyway, yesterday appeared to be Let's have Rachel be emotionally open with her co-workers Day, and I told KD that I hated his passive agressiveness and I told Ben that I hated the fact that he tries so hard to get everyone to like him because it rubs me absolutely raw.
And then Kazmyn told me, of all things, that Lucky actually, like, genuinely liked me, and that he wished we could have gotten along better than we did. I did my best shocked fish expression when KD was all like, yeah, Lucky told me that too!
So my question is: WTF? Lucky, you tell everyone in the store that you like me and want to get along and you don't tell me? Do you realize how much just the intimation that you were willing to make an effort would have eased our communication?
I will now stop talking to someone who'll never see this. But!
Then my co-workers told me that I intimdiate them and they feel stupid around me even when I'm being nice and non-judgemental! MEH.
What is so difficult about telling people how you feel about them? I mean, I might not be the most outgoing person, but I've made it a point to learn not to hide who I am. I realize that not everyone is going to like who I am, and I'm fine with that. But how can you not be honest with yourself and others, and live with the kind of regret that sort of behavior encourages?
I didn't talk to ______ because I was afraid of what they'd say.
I didn't do _________ because my significant other would have been shocked to know I enjoyed that kind of thing.
So here's my request.
As a birthday present, tell me how you feel about me, right now. Is there something you've ever wanted to say, but you've been afraid of how I might react? Do you hate me, or pity me or love me to pieces? Are you disappointed with the way I present myself? Do you think I ring false? Do you think I'm honest, or a liar? A sweetheart or a soul sucking ball of angst or something in between? Do you think my writing is trash and that I should find a day job? Or that's it's teh best evar and I don't work hard enough at it? Tell me anything. Tell me everything. I want a moment of pure, perfect honesty between us.
There will be no reprecussions from me, no matter what you say. I'll even screen comments so that you don't have to worry about anything else interfering. I would really like everyone to particpate, if you would. And I know that everyone is really busy with their own lives, but if, just once, you'll take a moment somwhere down the line to answer this, I will appreciate it.
Anyway, yesterday appeared to be Let's have Rachel be emotionally open with her co-workers Day, and I told KD that I hated his passive agressiveness and I told Ben that I hated the fact that he tries so hard to get everyone to like him because it rubs me absolutely raw.
And then Kazmyn told me, of all things, that Lucky actually, like, genuinely liked me, and that he wished we could have gotten along better than we did. I did my best shocked fish expression when KD was all like, yeah, Lucky told me that too!
So my question is: WTF? Lucky, you tell everyone in the store that you like me and want to get along and you don't tell me? Do you realize how much just the intimation that you were willing to make an effort would have eased our communication?
I will now stop talking to someone who'll never see this. But!
Then my co-workers told me that I intimdiate them and they feel stupid around me even when I'm being nice and non-judgemental! MEH.
What is so difficult about telling people how you feel about them? I mean, I might not be the most outgoing person, but I've made it a point to learn not to hide who I am. I realize that not everyone is going to like who I am, and I'm fine with that. But how can you not be honest with yourself and others, and live with the kind of regret that sort of behavior encourages?
I didn't talk to ______ because I was afraid of what they'd say.
I didn't do _________ because my significant other would have been shocked to know I enjoyed that kind of thing.
So here's my request.
As a birthday present, tell me how you feel about me, right now. Is there something you've ever wanted to say, but you've been afraid of how I might react? Do you hate me, or pity me or love me to pieces? Are you disappointed with the way I present myself? Do you think I ring false? Do you think I'm honest, or a liar? A sweetheart or a soul sucking ball of angst or something in between? Do you think my writing is trash and that I should find a day job? Or that's it's teh best evar and I don't work hard enough at it? Tell me anything. Tell me everything. I want a moment of pure, perfect honesty between us.
There will be no reprecussions from me, no matter what you say. I'll even screen comments so that you don't have to worry about anything else interfering. I would really like everyone to particpate, if you would. And I know that everyone is really busy with their own lives, but if, just once, you'll take a moment somwhere down the line to answer this, I will appreciate it.