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December Meme - Day 1
This is pretty late because of work, but I thought I'd at least get this started before the first was over.
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dungeonmarm asked me: Why do you write?
That is a question that's grown harder for me over the years, actually. I look at my creative output, and I have *such* trouble finishing things, maintaining my motivation and excitement about a project, and I lose, every day, to that critical voice in my head that says, "This is shit. This is useless. How can you hope to be a novelist if this is what you do when you put words onto a page?"
When I was eight, I didn't want to be a writer at all. I wanted to be an astronomer.
When I was fourteen, I wrote to escape. Eighth grade was a hard year for me and pretty much all of my friends.
When I was eighteen, it was because I was passionate and had things I wanted to say and felt that only I could say them.
At thirty-one, I look back on all the reasons—money, fame, wanting to be remembered—and while I miss feeling like that, the reason I write now is because I'm looking at the world I live in, the books on the shelves and the media around us, and I just want *something* more. I want POCs and strong women and I'm realizing the only way I'm going to get them is if I make that media myself.
Now, if only I were better at it. Because it's at the point where I write 2k and lament how bad I am. I can't seem to get past it, and that more than anything is going to prevent me from getting published. Which makes me sad, but then—it's not unexpected.
Master Post
dungeonmarm asked me: Why do you write?That is a question that's grown harder for me over the years, actually. I look at my creative output, and I have *such* trouble finishing things, maintaining my motivation and excitement about a project, and I lose, every day, to that critical voice in my head that says, "This is shit. This is useless. How can you hope to be a novelist if this is what you do when you put words onto a page?"
When I was eight, I didn't want to be a writer at all. I wanted to be an astronomer.
When I was fourteen, I wrote to escape. Eighth grade was a hard year for me and pretty much all of my friends.
When I was eighteen, it was because I was passionate and had things I wanted to say and felt that only I could say them.
At thirty-one, I look back on all the reasons—money, fame, wanting to be remembered—and while I miss feeling like that, the reason I write now is because I'm looking at the world I live in, the books on the shelves and the media around us, and I just want *something* more. I want POCs and strong women and I'm realizing the only way I'm going to get them is if I make that media myself.
Now, if only I were better at it. Because it's at the point where I write 2k and lament how bad I am. I can't seem to get past it, and that more than anything is going to prevent me from getting published. Which makes me sad, but then—it's not unexpected.
Master Post
no subject
I find it interesting because I've never wanted to publish. I love writing in fandom -- even though I do it less and less these days -- but I've always thought I couldn't write an original novel, that I'm not imaginative enough for that.
(Also, that modern authors seem to sell a lot of books based on their own ability to go out and sell, to appear in public and become known. The idea of a job that requires *me* to spend time with rooms of strangers does not appeal.)
... and anything done professionally would come with a lot of strings attached, I suspect. Not finishing a fic only disappoints me and a handful of fen. Not finishing a book would be a whole financial stress on top of that.
no subject
I think about the financial stress/not finishing a book stress a lot, actually. For me, I think I would try to ease that from happening as much as possible by just writing one book at a time without any additional for contract, or maybe have most of the series finished before I would start shopping the first book. I do manage to finish things if I have a deadline, though, so I've always hoped I'd be able to maintain that. :)
no subject
Huh. That's a good point. It's a lot easier to talk about something you care about.