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just. stuff.
After jabbering at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
draca, nonewwitticisms and ishuca about my nonexistent-yet-complicated lovelife, I really got to thinking about it all.
I am very, very monogamous when I get I get feelings for someone. And I was thinking about if it would bother me if my partner was monogamous or polyamorous or somewhere in between. Jon said that it seems like I expect my partner to be monogamous to me if I am to my partner, and that it's kind of selfish but completely understandable. And I'm not exactly sure if that fits me like it should.
Well, I don't really think about polyamory for myself because I just don't think I could ever be that free with my emotions. And I don't really think anything about polyamory except that it's not for me. But I think, what bothers me most about any prospective partners that I might have is the entire idea of expectations.
I don't know what people expect from me. That's why I appreciate honesty so very much. At least, if one is honest, that person can tell me where I stand with them, so that I don't have to wonder about my own position, about my own perceptions of a relationship versus their perceptions of a relationship. If someone wants me to be committed, that's fine with me. But the thing that I can't stand in the least is if someone expects a double standard from me. Like, one expects my complete and full commitment to their happiness, but won't give me the same consideration, the same commitment that I give to them.
If I ever get into a relationship, I'd like it stated up front whether or not it's going to be an open relationship, or whether it's going to be strictly the two of us together. That way, the choice to be monogamous to my partner is my choice, it's my decision, regardless of whether my partner wants to date other people. That leaves my own options open while not caging me into a relationship where the commitment is heaped on one half, but completely ignored by the other.
You know, this made so much more sense in my head before I attempted to write it down. I don't know why I bothered.
draca, nonewwitticisms and ishuca about my nonexistent-yet-complicated lovelife, I really got to thinking about it all.I am very, very monogamous when I get I get feelings for someone. And I was thinking about if it would bother me if my partner was monogamous or polyamorous or somewhere in between. Jon said that it seems like I expect my partner to be monogamous to me if I am to my partner, and that it's kind of selfish but completely understandable. And I'm not exactly sure if that fits me like it should.
Well, I don't really think about polyamory for myself because I just don't think I could ever be that free with my emotions. And I don't really think anything about polyamory except that it's not for me. But I think, what bothers me most about any prospective partners that I might have is the entire idea of expectations.
I don't know what people expect from me. That's why I appreciate honesty so very much. At least, if one is honest, that person can tell me where I stand with them, so that I don't have to wonder about my own position, about my own perceptions of a relationship versus their perceptions of a relationship. If someone wants me to be committed, that's fine with me. But the thing that I can't stand in the least is if someone expects a double standard from me. Like, one expects my complete and full commitment to their happiness, but won't give me the same consideration, the same commitment that I give to them.
If I ever get into a relationship, I'd like it stated up front whether or not it's going to be an open relationship, or whether it's going to be strictly the two of us together. That way, the choice to be monogamous to my partner is my choice, it's my decision, regardless of whether my partner wants to date other people. That leaves my own options open while not caging me into a relationship where the commitment is heaped on one half, but completely ignored by the other.
You know, this made so much more sense in my head before I attempted to write it down. I don't know why I bothered.
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