(no subject)

[lunesque]

So, it's almost one o'clock here, but it feels later because the sky is so overcast and I'm bloody freezing. I've picked up Star Ocean: Until the End of Time again for the first time in years, and am now almost at the end. I missed 24 again, for the seventh time in a row? and so it just adds onto the list of torrents I need to download.

Since I didn't have to work, I was finally able to keep that promise I made to my brother Tommy almost a year and a half ago, if not longer. So, on Saturday, he spent the night at my place, where we played Quidditch and Teen Titans and watched a metric ton of Whose Line is it Anyway? He stayed until about seven o'clock Sunday evening, and he apparently didn't stop talking about me the entire way home. Validation, oh yes. Even when I'm screwing up my own life, I'm still the awesomest of big sisters.

I hate feeling purposeless. My sleeping habits have reverted into night owl state even more than usual, I'm anxious about paying my bills, I can't do anything about the jobishness until I'm back from the trip, and I'm really scared of what's coming next. Maybe I should take Robin's advice and join the Air Force. At least then, I wouldn't have the time to mope about my lack of purpose.

I want to write something, but no matter what I look at, it's just... nothing. I have someone I need to grovel to, because she sent me something to beta like, seven months ago, and I'm *still* too listless to touch it. My circle of rl friends has narrowed considerably, too-- from like, what... six to two? *laughs* They should know that I still love them, at any rate.

I need to do so much. Ugh. I wish I could just curl up and everything could take care of itself.

Comments

[scheherezhad]

I wish I could just curl up and everything could take care of itself.

Yes. I haven't done my taxes or filled out my insurance applications or finished my March monthly things for work or done my quarterly reports. And all I want to do every day when I get out of bed is have some breakfast, visit the loo, and go the fuck back to bed. Stupid being a grown-up. :/

[lunesque.livejournal.com]

Tell me about it. And I so seriously need a job. And I hate that, too.

Star Ocean!

[brightflashes.livejournal.com]

I haven't thought of Star Ocean in FOREVER. I remember the musicbeing really good and there being like a thousand endings. I don't remember the game-play, though. Sorry today is so blah for you. It has been a pretty blah one for me, too.

Re: Star Ocean!

[lunesque.livejournal.com]

The first one had 82 endings. ^_^ I don't know how many Till the End of Time has.

And then I think: The Second Story has Dias &hearts, but Till the End of Time has Albel ♥.

I'm so fond of my emotionally stunted mean-but-secretly-awesome boys. ^^;;

[nonewwitticisms.livejournal.com]

<3

[lunesque.livejournal.com]

♥

[on-the-cusp.livejournal.com]

i feel similar. and it's actually hanging out with my family that makes me feel better these days... weird.

but i'm not really sure what i'm doing, either. :/

[lunesque.livejournal.com]

Really, the fact that I'm not the only one makes me feel immeasurably better. *laughs*

[saekhwa]

*huggles*

Don't stress before your big trip. That's not allowed at all. Deal with the rest of it when you get back.

(Air Force? I took you for Peace Corps kind of person.)

[lunesque.livejournal.com]

I am such an angsty ball of stress right now that it isn't even funny. I have so much stuff to do and so little time to do it in.

And, you know, I actually looked into the Peace Corps a while back, and I'd really like to do it-- but it doesn't really have any decent pay and I have to pay my bills off. What I'd like to do is go into the Air Force and finish college, and then try for the Peace Corps, after I've used my military pay to get my way out of my bills. I'm trying to get conditioned enough for basic, at least, trying to do it around my asthma-- and if I can manage to do it, I might get accepted anyway. So I'm hoping.