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Fic commentary for ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
scheherezhad
Part 1
*
Shori had absolutely no idea how people managed to stay so calm before a battle. His palms were sweaty, his stomach was cramped, and he’d cleaned his glasses five times in the last three minutes. The women of the castle were shutting all the doors against the encroaching dolls and the soldiers were all on standby, but the next part of the plan weighed heavily on him and his newfound control over his maryoku.
"Are you ready?" Conrad asked him. He stopped at Shori’s side and watched the scene before them. Soldiers all around them were pulling out their swords and readying themselves against the dolls. Shori estimated that he probably had about two minutes before they were reached and the battle began.
"After this, we need to talk," He said to Conrad. This was a bad time to mention it, considering that he didn’t even really know how he felt about Conrad in the first place and probably wouldn’t have made plans to confront any of it if he weren’t facing almost certain death, but he couldn’t retract the words once they’d slipped past his lips.
Conrad looked at him and nodded. "Yes."
(Conrad's thinking: Oh my god, this is break up talk. We haven't even gone out, and he wants to break up with me. Life sucks.)
Then it was time, and Shori allowed his power to well up inside of him and explode out. The dragons, he decided, were really much more aesthetically pleasing than the giant hand he had used before, and he felt a glow of pride as it all merged together to form the bridge they needed. After that, it was a blur of colors and sounds; it would have been overwhelming if he hadn’t been focusing so completely on his maryoku. They made their way to the temple, dolls growing heavier in numbers and more difficult to defeat every step of the way.
Ulrike’s maryoku flared out from her hands, and she called out, "Everyone! I’ll hold them back. Go to the temple and find His Majesty!"
Conrad grabbed his arm and tugged him along, and if Shori hadn’t been so grateful that he wasn’t left behind, he would have been upset that Conrad thought he needed babysitting.
The first thing Shori felt when he saw Yuuri and Murata in the courtyard of Shinou’s temple was pure relief. Yuuri wasn’t injured. Everything would be fine.
"Yuuri!" Wolfram called out, and would have gone to him if Conrad hadn’t stopped him.
"That isn’t Yuuri, Wolfram," Conrad said.
"What did you do to my brother?" Shori asked Murata, his relief replaced by anger and fear.
Murata shrugged, his glasses hiding his eyes. "I only watched over him."
Shori took a step forward. "Give Yuuri back!"
"It’s too late," Murata said softly. "It’s Shinou’s body now."
Wolfram shook his head frantically. "No, I don’t believe this. Yuuri!"
Shinou raised his arm and Shori jumped forward just in time to activate a shield to protect them. It wasn’t Yuuri, it was Shinou. All Shori had to remember was that distinction. It wasn’t his brother he was going to hurt.
"Can you kill him?" Murata asked mildly, still perched on the rock behind Yuuri.
Shori’s attack did absolutely nothing, and he stared at Shinou in a daze. "You’re… Yuuri?"
Wolfram clenched his hands into fists. "Are you saying we have to kill Yuuri? I can’t do it. I can’t hurt him."
Murata laughed. "Then Shinou wins. He’ll dominate the world."
"Then it doesn’t matter who he is…" Gwendal pulled his sword.
"Big brother!" Wolfram protested. "We can’t do this! It’s Yuuri!"
"It must be done." Gwendal and Huber charged toward Shinou. Shinou smirked, their attacks bouncing harmlessly off of him. He sent them flying with a wave of his hand. Conrad stalked ahead and pulled his sword.
"Conrad!" both Shori and Wolfram yelled.
He continued to walk resolutely forward. "I’m thinking of Yuuri, and I know he would do this. He would put everyone’s well-being ahead of his own. I’m not giving up. I’ll get him back. For all of us."
Shinou frowned. "I don’t think I like the way you’re looking at me." The last unopened box floated behind him. "I’ll show you something that will change that steadfast expression." He smiled. "What do you think would happen if this box was opened?"
Wolfram frowned. "We don’t know what the key is for that."
"We don’t," Shori responded. "But I think that he does."
"The key for the fourth box," Shinou continued. "Is Lady Suzanna Julia." He clenched his hand above the box, his nails biting into his palm. Conrad froze. "This body is now the key." A small trickle of blood dripped down his fist, and they all watched helplessly as a ruby drop fell and hit the box.
(Okay, this here is less a story rant, and more of a gigantic plot hole. Erhard von Wincott is the original key holder. And Julia is a direct descendant. However, Yuuri isn't related by blood to the Wincott family! The fact that he has her soul does not mean that he has her genetics! If we were going along the family blood-line thing, then the key should have either been Julia's father, or maybe that cute little cousin of hers who worshiped Anissina. It should not, in any way, shape form or fashion, have been Yuuri. Can someone explain this to me so that it makes sense?? Because wikipedia says that Yuuri inherited the key because he has Julia's soul. That's wrong wrong wrong! I hate when kkm doesn't make any sense!)
There was an explosion of dark energy as Soushu’s power was restored completely. When the dust had cleared, Shinou was still standing before them unharmed and now near-invincible. He smirked.
"Julia…" Conrad whispered, his face completely open in shock.
"This is what she died for?" Huber wondered.
Shori couldn’t help but stare, silent and open-mouthed, at how well-planned this entire thing had been. If it hadn’t involved his family, he might have been impressed. "You waited so long, and for what?"
At that moment, the pendant that Shori had grown used to seeing on Yuuri materialized on Shinou’s chest and began to glow painfully bright. They all stared dumbly at it until they were distracted by a whistling sound above them. Shori jumped back in surprise as Gunter and Dacascos fell from the sky to land in front of them. "What the hell?" he gasped.
"Oh!" Dacascos wailed. "I thought I was going to die!"
"Gunter!" Wolfram cried. "Morgif! What about Morgif?"
"Morgif is.." Gunter looked up, and they all followed his eyes to the dark, threatening sword above them.
Shinou looked at Morgif, and Murata moved for the first time, jumping off his rock and watching Yuuri hopefully. "Now, Shibuya! Fufill the wish that Shinou has carried for the past 4,000 years! Please, Shibuya. Free him."
Shori blinked. "Am I the only one completely confused?" He was completely ignored as Shinou grasped Morgif.
(I love it when characters have no clue what's really going on. I really don't know if this was in character for Shori, either, but it's exactly what I thought when I read the transcripts for the end of the series.)
Shinou stopped and shook his head, his forehead creasing in confusion. Slowly, his expression cleared. "You’re right, Murata. I can’t give up." He turned to look at Conrad and Wolfram, and smiled. "I’m sorry I worried you guys."
"Yuuri, you wimp!" Wolfram yelled, although it was clear in his eyes he was happy to see him, "You’re so hard to keep track of! You should think about your poor fiancé when you’re running around and getting possessed by ghosts!"
"I’m sorry, I’m sorry," Yuuri said apologetically.
"Yuu-chan," Shori said, and smiled along with the others in relief.
"Hey, Conrad, are you and Gwendal okay?" Yuuri asked.
"Yes, Your Majesty," Conrad answered.
Gwendal took a step forward and frowned. "Behind you… is that Shinou?"
Yuuri jumped back, and they all stared at the dark shadow behind him. The pendant was in the center of the cloud of darkness, intensely bright despite its surroundings.
"You were able to expel him?" Gwendal continued, and shot Yuuri an approving look.
"I think so," Yuuri said uncertainly. He turned to Murata. "Murata, what exactly is Soushu anyhow? Will you tell me?"
Murata sighed, scratching the back of his head. "Even when we fought it, we weren’t able to understand. Soushu is something that has the suffering and pain of the world. That’s why it gets into people’s hearts so easily, and why it’s so hard to defeat. Shinou thought that if we could find a container for it, it might not—"
Shori frowned. "So, Yuuri was the holder?"
Murata shook his head. "No. Shinou’s soul was what contained Soushu. Yuuri was chosen to be the one to accept Shinou’s soul, and become the strongest Maou to ever rule Shinma koku."
Gwendal shook his head. "It seems that everything was planned from the very beginning."
"I wasn’t sure if it was going to work, but…" Murata turned to Yuuri. "Shibuya, you have to save him."
Yuuri grinned. "I guess I can’t let you down, can I?" Dolls filtered into the courtyard, but Shori ignored them as he stared at his brother.
"Shori!" Shori turned at the sound of his name just as Conrad destroyed a doll that had been about to attack him.
"I don’t need you to protect me!" Shori yelled, startled.
(This part was inserted into the story to remind myself that this was about Shori and Conrad, not about Yuuri. Besides, it would have been boring to have Shori keep his eyes on Yuuri anyway, since the entire battle there is internal.)
"Then protect yourself!" Conrad answered, and cut down another enemy. Shori scowled and struck at two dolls with his maryoku, sending them crumbling to the ground. He managed to get three more before Yuuri made a triumphant sound and the dolls collapsed. Shori spared the mutilated dolls the barest of glances before looking back to his brother. Yuuri smiled at everyone, and Shori wondered if that meant it was over.
Shinou appeared before them, and Shori took a step back, bumping into Conrad, who placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
Shinou smiled gratefully at Yuuri. "Thank you, Yuuri. I’m glad I chose you." Yuuri rubbed a bashful hand over his face as Shinou turned to Murata. "I gave you a lot of pain."
"I made a promise," Murata said with a smile. "It was my duty to fulfill your wishes. Now that it’s over though, I can forget my memories as the Great Sage."
"If I’m reborn," Shinou said, "I have a feeling that we’ll meet once again."
Murata gave him a respectful nod. "I can’t watch over you anymore, but it would be nice." Shinou smiled at Murata and vanished. Murata looked out over the courtyard. "Where’s Ulrike?"
"She was fighting—" Shori began, but was interrupted as Ulrike made her way into the entrance. She looked heartbroken.
"I’m here!" Ulrike called out, her voice strong despite her sad expression.
"Shibuya," Murata turned to Yuuri. "It’s time for us to go."
"What?" Yuuri said uncertainly.
"Now that Shinou is gone," Ulrike replied, "This is the last chance we’ll have to send you between dimensions." She raised her hands, closing her eyes in concentration. A large portal appeared.
"This is…" Yuuri looked around at his friends desperately.
"This is the last of his strength," Murata confirmed.
Shori took a breath as understanding struck him. "I see. It’s thanks to Shinou’s power that we can go between dimensions, and when that power disappears…"
"If we don’t take this chance," Murata said. "We might never get back to earth."
"But!" Yuuri said. "What is… I mean, how…?"
This is the last time, Shori thought, and glanced at Conrad, who was watching Yuuri. It looked like they wouldn't have that talk after all.
"Go, Yuuri!" Wolfram cried. "Your family is waiting for you. Do you want to make your parents sad?"
"No, but—" Yuuri trailed off. "Wolfram…"
"My fiancé is not so cruel!" Wolfram insisted. "Go!"
"It’s your decision," Shori said abruptly as he watched his brother grow increasingly desperate. "If you want to stay, then stay. I won’t force you to come back." He briefly considered staying himself, but he shook the idea away. There wasn’t anything for him here anyway except his ability to use maryoku. He looked at Conrad again and reached out a hand, hesitating briefly before he pulled it back and went to stand next to the portal.
"I really love Shinma koku," Yuuri said. "At first I didn’t think I’d be a good king, but… I’m happy here."
"Leave it to us," Gwendal said, smiling softly.
Josak ruffled his hair. "I really liked you, kiddo."
Huber bowed. "I will never forget your mercy, Your Majesty."
Yuuri looked at Conrad uncertainly. Conrad said, "Even if you go to a far away place, I’ll continue to watch over you for as long as I live." His eyes flickered over to Shori, and he clearly read the message there: Keep him safe for me. Shori accepted the silent request with a nod of his head—it was his duty in the first place. He would be the only one on earth who could take care of Yuuri now. He had won against Shinma koku and the strange devotion Yuuri and his kingdom shared.
He wondered why it felt like such a hollow victory.
Yuuri smiled at them a final time and turned toward the portal. "See you." Wolfram screamed Yuuri’s name as they walked toward the portal. Yuuri didn’t turn around. "Farewell," he said, and vanished to earth.
I’m ready, Shori thought as he and Murata followed. If there was one good thing about being a supporting character, it was this: They didn’t have to say good-bye.
(This entire scene was brought to you by my inability to write action scenes, and also by basic translations that were floating around online at the time. I'm pretty sure at least a quarter of this story is actual canon, and that makes me feel lazy and guilty. No more transcribing and mutilating for me, kthnx!
But here at the end, this is Shori's realization that maybe he was actually going to break up with Conrad before anything had actually started between them, and that he might have wanted something more than he would have permitted himself. This is where Shori shows himself to be the coward he'd accused Conrad of being, because he's the one running away from it all. And not admitting that if Yuuri hadn't been there, he might have asked Conrad to come with him. Maybe.)
*
After that, everything returned to normal. Yuuri played baseball and rode his bike and did things a normal teenager should do.
Shori continued his internship with Bob, played his dating sims and continued college. Bob asked him why he was still studying so hard to be the Maou of earth when the reason he first accepted was superfluous. Shori thought about the silent promise he made to Conrad and replied that his will to protect Yuuri hadn’t changed, and that Bob should be satisfied with that.
Sometimes he would see Yuuri looking wistfully at the fountain in the park, and he wondered if his brother had made the right choice.
Sometimes he thought about what Conrad would have done if he had kissed him back, and wondered if he could have made a better one.
(That's a lie. It's not sometimes. It's all the time. That's why he spends so much time with Bob, because if he's busy, then he has less time to think. He's also really confused, because, yeah. It was just a kiss. And he shouldn't think about something like that, especially since they'll never see each other again, and won't be able to do anything about it. Shori's sort of contradictory there, though, since he thinks about the kiss because there's absolutely no way they will meet again, so he can fawn and pine to his heart's content without consequences. Coward.)
*
It was the middle of summer when Shori decided he needed a new dating sim to entertain himself, and he went to the gaming store to scope out the newest releases. He found a yaoi game shelved incorrectly with the normal dating sims and picked it up. He flipped it over to look at the back out of curiosity and was struck by a character drawn with warm brown eyes.
(Conrad has managed to ruin dating sims for Shori. He hates the world. But he's also totally in love. Oh, yes.)
"Oh!" The sales girl exclaimed. Shori jumped guiltily. "You come in here so often—I was wondering when you’d get curious about BL!"
(This sales girl is secretly in love with Shori, and has kept the list of all the dating sims he's interested in playing so that she can dig them out of the packaging when they come in and save them for him. She plays the sims herself so that she can talk about plot and development with him. She's really hoping here that it's an accident that he picked up a BL game, but is also imagining him with an attractive guy, and thinks it's hot.)
"No, I wasn’t—this character," he pointed to the cover, "It just… reminded me of someone, that’s all." He shook his head and set the game down. Picking up a BL game because it reminded him of Conrad Weller just told him that he was going insane. The next step would be staring off into space heaving wistful sighs and having sweaty, indecent dreams. Shori didn’t want to do either. "Never mind. I don’t think I want to get a game today. I’ll buy a couple over the weekend."
(Sales girl is shocked, and wants to hug Shori, because he has never left the store without a game and that means something's really bugging him. He obviously needs coddling, and maybe some comfort sex.)
Shori left the store and headed back home. It was crazy to think like this, especially when he wouldn’t ever see the other man again. It was quite possible that he was thinking like this because he wouldn’t ever see the other man again.
(He's such a contrary bastard! This relationship would never have gotten off the ground if it hadn't been for their forced separation.)
He was just about to go up the stairs to his room when Yuuri and Murata burst through the front door. He turned around to yell at them about running through the house when he caught sight of Yuuri’s smile, and felt his mouth move into an answering smile. "You went back, didn’t you?"
Yuuri glowed. "How did you know?"
Shori rolled his eyes. "I’m your brother. I know this stuff." His hand tightened on the banister. "How is… everyone?"
Murata laughed. "They’re all fine." He shot Shori an amused look as he went into the kitchen. "Conrad misses you, too."
Shori scowled. "That’s none of your business, friend of my brother."
(Shori thinks that Murata is the creepiest thing on earth right here. He had time to plan a millennia old conspiracy in order to free the original king from the presence of evil, and yet managed to keep an eye on a not-quite-fledgling relationship? Who is this kid?)
He headed up to his room, and as he closed his door, he heard Yuuri exclaim, "Why would Conrad miss Shori?"
Shori opened the door and shouted down to Yuuri, "I’m going with you next time!"
(Right here is one of the few moments of Shori speaking before he thinks. He doesn't want to see Conrad again, really. He's spent so much time fantasizing that he's afraid he'll do something stupid if he sees him again. Too late now, though. Yuuri would be too curious about it if Shori refused to go after being so adamant. Ha ha.)
*
Shori inhaled water and coughed as he broke the surface of the fountain in the courtyard of Shinou’s temple, Yuuri sputtering next to him. He could see the blurry lines of Wolfram and Conrad waiting for them and climbed out of the fountain, stumbling to a stop before Conrad as he pulled off his glasses to shake the water off. "We need to talk," he blurted out.
Conrad smiled fondly and tilted his head. "All right. Perhaps you should get into dry clothing first."
(Conrad is so shocked to see Shori here that he automatically defaults into sweet and stoic. When he has time to think again, he'll want to bang his head into the wall, because seriously. He has to have a crush on a guy so anal retentive that he crosses over dimensions so that he can continue the break up. Why can't Shori be satisfied with a few deep and meaningful glances?!)
"And have dinner!" Yuuri said enthusiastically. "I’m starving!"
"Yes," Shori agreed, his sudden enthusiasm dampening. "Of course."
(Shori has just remembered that he's traveling with Yuuri, and has no idea what he wants to say to Conrad. He's also quite sure that whatever he has to say to Conrad is relatively gay in nature, and therefore something that Yuuri doesn't ever need to hear.)
Drying off and having dinner before speaking to Conrad about whatever was going on between them had been the original plan, but after dinner Greta wanted to play catch with him, and after Greta got tired, Anissina claimed him as her assistant for her inventions, and after he managed to free himself from Anissina’s clutches, Gunter cornered him in the hallway to gush about how wonderful it was that they were both in Shinma koku once again and that he hoped that now that the boxes were dealt with there would be a new era of companionship between the two worlds.
(Shori's really creeped out by Gunter's dark-hair-and-eyes fetish, and kind of thinks of him as pervy, even though he's pretty. Pervy old man. Seriously. Once again, of course, he doesn't realize that Conrad is over a hundred, and he doesn't find out about it until Conrad's next birthday. That conversation goes something like this:
Shori: Oh god, you're like, one hundred and nine years old???
Conrad: (fondly) Yes. And you're thinking I'm a perverted old man right now, aren't you?
Shori: Yes! Yes, I am!
Yay communication! As you can see, their communication skills are obviously much better after some time has passed.)
It was late when Shori finally managed to make his way to his room, and he barely had the energy to change into his pajamas before sleep claimed him.
*
It was the last day of his visit when Shori began to suspect that Conrad might be avoiding him. Conrad was always just leaving the room Shori was entering; he was busy helping Gwendal with affairs of the state; he was playing baseball in the field with Yuuri.
(Story-wise, Conrad's totally avoiding Shori. He thinks if he ignores The Talk long enough, Shori will give up and forget about it and Conrad can go about without being officially rejected.
In muse!space however? Shori!muse and Gwendal!muse were having fights about what 'affairs of state' really meant.
It was really much funnier than it sounds.)
It was sheer luck that he stumbled onto Conrad when he did—Shori was exasperated with the entire thing and had gone outside to brood, and found Conrad training his regiment. After a moment of contemplation, he set himself out of the way and proceeded to watch him. Conrad was friendly with his soldiers, but kept himself distanced enough to maintain a clear chain of command. He listened to concerns and demonstrated difficult moves.
Shori felt like a stalker.
(Conrad's soldiers are busy being very amused by Shori. But it's not like it's unusual for them—people come to stare at Conrad like love-sick stalkers all the time. However, they are very protective of their captain, so Conrad often doesn't know he has stalkers at all.)
When the practice was over, Shori went to Conrad, who didn’t appear surprised to see him. "Hello," Conrad said.
(Conrad clued in that Shori was there about three seconds after he decided to watch the practice. He's embarrassed that he's so hyper-aware of Shori. And also dismayed because he hasn't been able to avoid The Talk. And also proud of himself that he managed to remain cool even with Shori watching him.
Shori just wishes Conrad would mess up, just a little bit, on something not important, just to make him feel a little less like a nervous preteen.)
"Hello," Shori answered.
Conrad sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I suppose it’s time for our talk."
"That would be nice, considering you’ve avoided me the entire week." Shori answered coolly.
(Shori is upset and hurt. Conrad feels guilty.)
"As you can see, I just finished practice. Perhaps I can meet you later?"
"I’ll give you an hour." Shori said. "We need to get this over with."
Conrad cast his eyes downward and nodded. "All right. I’ll come to your room in an hour." Shori watched him walk away and fought the childish urge to throw something at his head, choosing instead to stalk away in the other direction.
(They are five. Shori would totally be the type to pull Conrad's pigtails and dump sand over his head. If, you know, Conrad had pigtails and they had anything like a sandbox available.)
Shori took a deep breath and crossed his arms as he made his way to his room, silently rehearsing the words he wanted to say. It couldn’t be as simple as ‘I missed you, and I’m sorry.’ Nothing ever went that easy. Shori ran a hand through his hair. Perhaps Conrad had the right idea. It was so easy to think of what you wanted to say and do when you were far away from someone, but knowing that any moment you would be face to face with them, and that you’d have to say something or let the opportunity slip away… it terrified him.
He found himself pacing as he carefully counted the minutes, excitement and anxiety twisting his insides. He finally settled down with a book when Conrad entered.
"I’m early," Conrad said apologetically.
"It’s all right," Shori said, setting his book aside. He stood up and tugged at his sleeves nervously.
"What was it that you wanted to say?" Conrad asked.
Shori was frozen. He could feel his heart beating into his throat, but he couldn’t force a sound.
Conrad frowned in concern and took a step toward him. "Shori?"
"I…" Shori began. "It’s your fault I’m like this!" He crossed his arms defensively over his chest and scowled.
Conrad blinked. "I’m sorry?"
"I wasn’t going to come back," Shori said. "After all, what’s there to talk about if you never see each other, right?" Conrad remained silent, and Shori continued. "This isn’t normal. I can’t stop thinking about you. I hate it."
Conrad’s eyes softened. "You missed me?"
Shori focused his eyes on the lamp next to his bed. "I don’t know why. We only ever talked when there was something bizarre happening, but then you kissed me and I barely remember what it felt like, but it’s keeping me up at night. I dreamed about you before I came back. I wonder what would have happened if I…" Shori shot Conrad a betrayed look. "I looked at a BL sim because of you!"
"I apologize." Conrad said, but he had the beginning of a smile that belied his words. "It sounds traumatic."
(All of Conrad's angst just floods out of him, right here. If he were a girl, he'd be twirling around and sing-songing 'he likes me, he likes me, he really really likes me!' He is now in denial that he ever had any doubt whatsoever about the outcome.
Shori hasn't quite reached this level of self-realization, and is winding himself up in hopes that Conrad will step in and take over and make everything simpler.)
"It was." Shori agreed, embarrassed by his tirade. "You should do something about it."
Conrad’s smile widened, and he took a step toward Shori. "You have an odd way of saying you’d like me to kiss you again."
"I didn’t say that!" Shori protested.
"Does that mean I’m wrong?" Conrad asked. He took advantage of Shori’s silence to close the distance between them, his hand cupping the back of Shori’s neck and pulling him forward. Conrad was exceedingly gentle, pressing his lips chastely against Shori’s in a light caress. Shori allowed his eyes to close as Conrad kissed him again, tilting his head to get a better angle.
Conrad carefully removed Shori’s glasses, and Shori watched as he set them on the table. "I can’t see without them," he said. Conrad was close enough to be clear, but the rest of the room was blurred in various degrees.
"You won’t need them," Conrad assured, "and I wanted the opportunity to do this." He pulled Shori close again, letting his hands caress Shori’s jaw as he guided him into a better position. Kissing wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable without his glasses, Shori realized, and he clenched a hand on Conrad’s sleeve as he darted his tongue out to lick Conrad’s lower lip.
Conrad hummed delightedly and parted his lips, deepening the kiss. It was warm and wet and Conrad didn’t taste anything like Shori had imagined. It was easy to say someone tasted of chocolate or sweet as cream or any number of things, really, but Conrad didn’t taste like anything at all. Conrad’s tongue glided against his own, and Shori shivered, breathing a soft sound. One of Conrad’s hands slipped down the line of his back, resting against the curve of his spine and urging him closer. Shori’s hands kneaded Conrad’s uniform, one hand remaining clenched in the sleeve and the other tentatively running over his shoulder. One kiss melted into several, and even though his lungs were beginning to ache, Shori didn’t want to stop even one second to take a breath.
They eventually parted for air, and Conrad pressed a kiss to the underside of Shori’s jaw, panting lightly. "We should stop."
"Why?" Shori asked breathlessly, tilting his head back to give Conrad better access.
"Because I need to stop while I still can." Conrad said, running his fingers leisurely up Shori’s back.
(Commentary for porn is always a little embarrassing. Conrad is obviously trying to be a gentleman here, and Shori doesn't understand why. He's sort of going, "hey, wait, isn't there supposed to be sex after a confession?" He's really bad about the whole thing, in general. He realizes he could say no, but it's like. Conrad. Who's being considerate, and imminently kissable. Maybe he's not so bad at the whole thing after all. I certainly can't fault his priorities. :D )
"And… if I don’t want you to stop?" Shori asked quietly, feeling a flush creep over his cheeks at being so forward. He unbuttoned Conrad’s jacket and slipped his hands inside, fingers stroking along the lines and ridges of Conrad’s muscles. He sighed at the warmth as he nestled closer, etching patterns against Conrad’s back.
Conrad trembled and pressed his lips against Shori’s temple. "Have you ever done anything like this before?"
Shori glared at Conrad. "Of course not! Who has time for girls when you have a precious younger brother to protect?"
Conrad laughed and ran a hand through Shori’s hair. "You’re not worried?"
"Should I be?" Shori asked before pressing his lips to the hollow of Conrad’s throat.
"I’ll be gentle," Conrad promised
Shori shot him another irritated look. "Did I ask you? I’m not a child. I can take it. Do what you want."
(I love virgin!Shori. I realize now that it could be a cop out, I guess, but it never even occurred to me once that Shori's had sex before. And he's so bossy, and still feels the need to control the situation, as if his lack of experience is a bad thing. The interactions between them while they're having sex are some of my favorite parts of dialogue. It totally shows me what kind of relationship they'll end up having—with Conrad being the doting one, trying not to smother but still give enough affection that Shori doesn't think of himself as second place, and Shori, who will sometimes try the boundaries of what they are but will always come back because there's nowhere else he'd rather be.)
Conrad’s eyes darkened, and he shoved Shori onto the bed. Shori sprawled out over the duvet and propped himself up on his elbows, watching as Conrad removed his jacket. Shori licked his lips as Conrad crawled onto the bed, straddling him and biting at his mouth. Shori gasped and wrapped his arms around Conrad’s neck, pressing up against him. "I missed you," Conrad murmured against Shori’s mouth between kisses. "No one looks at me like you do."
Shori laughed. "Malevolently?"
Conrad pulled away slightly, eyebrow quirking as he stared down at Shori. "Like you’re waiting for the perfect opportunity to bite me." That was simply too good to resist, and Shori leaned up to bite hard at the junction between Conrad’s shoulder and throat. Conrad moaned, and the sound sent a jolt of sensation directly to his cock. Shori made a small sound and squirmed beneath Conrad’s weight.
(Right here is where Conrad starts to think that Shori might actually be playful in bed, of all things, and that is just unbelievably hot. Conrad is very happy and horny. And he also thinks that he has the most adorably prickly boyfriend in the history of ever.)
"You’re so impatient," Conrad said fondly, and thrust down. Shori clenched his eyes shut and wriggled again, wanting more contact. It all looked so easy in the H-scenes of his dating sims, but he was almost at his limit just by kissing. It was embarrassing. Then Conrad unwound Shori’s arms from his neck and crossed them above Shori’s head, holding his wrists in place with one hand as his other went for the buttons on Shori’s shirt. He kissed a line down Shori’s chest and continued downward, flipping the button on Shori’s trousers.
"What are you—" Shori tugged against Conrad’s grip. Conrad smiled and kissed Shori’s collarbone.
"It’s okay," Conrad whispered as he slid his hand into Shori’s pants and wrapped his fingers around his cock.
"Ahh!" Shori cried out, clenching his eyes shut and turning his face to the side. He felt flushed and restless as he tried to yank his wrists out of Conrad’s grasp, and he writhed as Conrad squeezed him. "Conrad!"
Conrad nuzzled Shori’s throat, and Shori made a choking sort of growl as he canted his hips upward. Conrad wasn’t bothering to remove Shori’s trousers, and that made every movement short and tight, with just enough friction to keep him wound up and anxious but not nearly enough to push him over the edge.
Shori’s eyes fluttered open, and he glared at Conrad, who was watching him with a look in his eyes that made Shori flush hotter. "Please," he gritted out, and Conrad smiled, twisting his hand in a way that must have hurt his wrist. Shori gasped, arching at the sensation, and clenched his hands into helpless fists. His eyes shut again as Conrad kissed him, and he cried out into Conrad’s mouth as he climaxed.
Shori slumped back down on the bed bonelessly, trying to catch his breath and responding to Conrad’s kiss, lazy and slow. It had all finished much faster than he’d anticipated, but he was too pleasantly warm at the moment to really care. Conrad pulled away from the kiss, releasing Shori’s wrists and kissing Shori’s fingertips gently before easing off him.
(This is something I don't think you ever see enough of in fic. Where one or both of the characters is so hyped up on the moment that they have absolutely no stamina. Especially with first times. Muh. *squishes Shori*)
"Mmm?" Shori mumbled, rumpled and a little dazed. "Where are you going?"
Conrad smiled at him. "I’ll be right back. There’s something I forgot."
Shori sat up, forehead creased in puzzlement. "You’re actually leaving?"
Conrad leaned over and kissed him. "Trust me," he said, and hurried out the door.
Shori scratched his head and flopped back down on the bed. His trousers were damp and starting to get sticky, so he sighed, kicking off his shoes and yanking his trousers off. He was in the process of removing his shirt when Conrad reappeared. Shori yelped in surprise and dove for the bed.
Conrad tilted his head and set a jar on the bedside table. "Are you all right?"
"I…" Shori blushed at how stupid he’d just been. "Yes."
(This nudity thing was actually an in joke for myself. I had just read a fic where Gwendal freaked out about being nude in front of another man, and was like, oh, that writer must totally be American, because we're the ones with the nudity taboo. Not once in all of KKM does anyone seem the least bit body shy.
Character-wise, though, Shori didn't freak out because he was nude, he freaked out because he didn't expect Conrad to show back up, and didn't know how to react. So he reacted with dumb.)
"Good," Conrad said, watching Shori warily. "Do you want to continue?"
Shori didn’t bother with an answer, placing a kiss at the open neck of Conrad’s undershirt. He unbuttoned it carefully, lavishing licks and small bites on every inch he uncovered. Conrad shrugged out of his shirt and gently pushed Shori back, taking a moment to remove the rest of his clothes before joining Shori on the bed.
Shori felt absurdly shy, and reached out to trace the line of a pale scar. Conrad captured his hand and pulled him closer, turning his head and sucking red marks down Shori’s neck. Shori followed Conrad’s lead, licking up Conrad’s jaw and biting his ear, his hands trailing over Conrad’s chest. There was something strangely comfortable and intimate about taking the time to feel someone like this, touching and exploring without a rush. Shori discovered that Conrad hissed his breath out when Shori scraped his fingernails over his back; Conrad managed to find the one ticklish spot just above the jut of Shori’s hip. Shori found himself obsessed with Conrad’s mouth, unable to go more than a few seconds without kissing him, nibbling his lips swollen and swallowing Conrad’s moans greedily. Conrad seemed entranced by the line of Shori’s neck, nuzzling and sucking it often enough that Shori was positive he’d have quite a few marks to explain away the next day.
(I have a kink for really lovely, slow, delicious foreplay. I've never been able to reach the level of quality that I like, but in the right circumstances, the longer the touching goes on the happier a reader I am. There's something beautiful in learning a lover's body, the way all the bits and pieces fit together and feel against a mouth or fingertips. I can imagine Conrad and Shori being the type to love searching out the little details.)
Conrad brushed back a strand of Shori’s hair, and Shori noticed that he was shaking just a little. "Are you ready?"
Shori trailed his hands down Conrad’s abdomen to grasp his cock and squeeze. Conrad dropped his head to Shori’s shoulder, exhaling slowly. "I was ready a long time ago," Shori said with a smile. "I just wanted to hear you ask." Conrad yanked his head up, staring at Shori with a pained sort of exasperation. "I told you to do what you wanted, didn’t I?"
(Oh, Shori. Of course you'd make Conrad ask. You need the validation.)
"Unbelievable," Conrad shook his head, unable to stop a laugh.
"Come here," Shori said, and straddled Conrad’s lap, breathing a moan as the movement brought their erections together. Conrad set a hand on Shori’s hip, stretching to reach the jar that he’d left on the table. Shori took it from Conrad and opened it, looking at the contents. "I didn’t even think about this," he confessed as he scooped up a liberal helping of lubricant.
"I know you didn’t," Conrad agreed. "But I thought you might appreciate the courtesy."
"I get to do this next time, don’t I?" Shori asked as he smoothed the lubricant over Conrad, squeezing and moving his hand up and down a couple of times to make sure Conrad was completely coated.
"If you’d like," Conrad said, and pushed a finger into Shori. Shori tensed at the uncomfortable sensation, but Conrad was right there to kiss him to distraction. After a few minutes, it wasn’t as painful. The friction was making him heat up again, and he squirmed as Conrad’s fingers twisted inside of him.
"Conrad!" Shori said, grabbing Conrad’s shoulders as he pushed his hips against his fingers.
"Just a bit more," Conrad said, and then his fingers brushed over a spot that caused Shori to see white.
"Don’t do that again!" Shori gasped. "That’s too… I mean, I…"
(I read, once, in a discussion of realistic anal sex, that some people don’t like the prostate to be manipulated very much, because it's too intense, or a little painful, or just the fact that the anal sex itself is strange enough that one doesn't need the extra stimulation. In fic, we often go directly for the whole prostate angle, so I thought it'd be fun to leave that out. And Shori seems like the type of person who would let you know if something wasn't to his liking.)
"I understand," Conrad said, a smirk tilting the corner of his mouth. "I’m overwhelming you."
"Don’t be so smug." Shori scowled. Conrad removed his fingers and positioned himself carefully at Shori’s entrance. Shori pressed down slowly, allowing Conrad’s hand on his hip to guide him. "Oh," Shori breathed as Conrad filled him. "Ow…"
(Ha ha. Here's another thing that I'm amused about. From what I understand, it's easier to do the anal sex thing on hands and knees, so of course Shori has to pick a difficult position to begin with. It's just the type of person he is.)
"Are you okay?" Conrad asked, stopping immediately.
"I didn’t tell you to stop!" Shori chided him. Conrad thrust again, and Shori closed his eyes. It burned, but that was already mostly fading as Conrad pulled back out. Shori arched his back, matching each thrust with one of his own, incoherent sounds only occasionally pushing their way past his lips. The entire world narrowed down to the smooth push and slide of Conrad inside of him, the heat of the contact between them, the way pleasure was gathering at the base of his spine that made him squirm for anything more—more speed, more friction, more of Conrad. Conrad pulled him down into a rough kiss, and pulled out of him. Shori whined, hands scrabbling for purchase on Conrad’s chest.
The kiss turned into a roll, and Shori had just enough time to register that Conrad was on top of him before the next hard thrust. Shori yelped, having absolutely no idea what to do with his legs, just knowing that Conrad had a hand on his back, supporting him as he pushed in. Shori mewled pathetic little gasps as Conrad slammed into him again and again, barely taking the time to press Shori’s leg to the mattress and pull the other over his shoulder and Shori didn’t even know how it had become so hard so fast. He panted, shaking sweat from his eyes as words spilled out, things like Conrad and please and Oh God, and he twisted up to bite at Conrad’s mouth and dig his fingernails into the raised ridges of the scars on Conrad’s back.
"Shori," Conrad said, and Shori choked out a sob, his orgasm knocked out of him with his breath. Conrad collapsed on top of him, breath quick and hot against his shoulder, and Shori dragged his fingers through Conrad’s hair, letting his leg fall from Conrad’s shoulder into a more comfortable position.
Shori held onto Conrad until his own breathing slowed, and Conrad raised his head. "I’m sorry," Conrad apologized.
"Don’t ruin the moment by being stupid," Shori complained, letting his head fall back onto the pillow as he traced aimless patterns against Conrad’s shoulder. Conrad laughed softly and nodded, shifting his weight off of Shori and settling at his side. Shori shifted with him, finding nothing wrong with using Conrad as a pillow. "So." Shori said.
"So." Conrad answered, brushing his fingers through Shori’s hair.
(Hello, post-sex awkwardness. Have I mentioned that I love you? And yes, Conrad's afraid of pushing Shori too far, and Shori finds it kind of annoying. But the mood would totally be ruined for Conrad if he hurt his partner accidentally, so the concern is just something that Shori will have to learn to accept.)
"I think I might love you. Is that okay?"
"I think I could be persuaded to accept your confession," Conrad laughed, and Shori elbowed him in the ribs.
"I'm serious," Shori said. "What are we going to do?"
Conrad sighed. "The best that we can."
Shori sat up and looked down at Conrad. "That's a completely useless plan."
Conrad propped his chin on his hand. "What would you suggest?"
Shori pondered the question for a moment. "You should come work for me."
Conrad laughed and shook his head. "I have too many duties here that need my attention."
(I love this bit of conversation between them. I've grown out of the need to have my characters say "I love you" like a perfect storybook ending, so I like to change things. I love the uncertainty of Shori's confession, and how Conrad doesn't feel he even needs to return the words because it's so, so obvious how he feels. To him, at least. I'm sure there'll be insecurity down the road and he'll have to say the words eventually.)
There was a knock at the door, and Shori jumped out of bed, plastering himself against the back of the door. The movement was uncomfortable—he was already getting sore. "Yes?"
"Hey, it's time to go home!" Yuuri's voice came through door clearly, and Shori winced as the doorknob turned. His face turned even more miserable as semen started trickling down his stomach. Conrad raised a hand to his mouth to stifle his laughter. "Are you ready to go?"
(Shori wants to die. Now that he has his boyfriend and no longer hates the world, the world decides to rub that hatred back at him, because why else would his little brother be outside the door just as he's finished having his first gay sex? Shori's about to have an aneurysm. Conrad just thinks Shori's reaction is the most adorable thing evars.)
"No," Shori answered. His eyes fell on his ruined trousers, and he shot Conrad a baleful look. "I have to change. I… spilled something on my clothes."
"Oh, okay. I'll meet you at the fountain, all right? I've got to say good-bye to everyone."
Conrad got up and retrieved Shori's shirt from the floor, dipping it into the basin and carefully wiping himself down.
"All right," Shori held his breath as he heard his brother's steps retreat, and heaved a relieved sigh.
"You handled that admirably," Conrad said, as he tossed Shori the damp shirt and went to his closet.
Shori caught the shirt. "I certainly wasn't going to expose my brother to my homosexual love affair!" Shori protested, and raked a hand through his hair. "What am I doing?"
Conrad cleared his throat, and Shori looked at him desperately. "Your clothing, Shori." He gestured at the armchair, where he'd laid out the new outfit.
(Also, how awesome is it that Conrad and Shori are the same size? I love that! Also, Murata totally knows they're wearing each other's clothes, and gossips about it with Josak later on.)
Shori stared at the armchair. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," Conrad said as he began to redress himself.
Shori took his time cleaning himself up and dressing, trying to use the few minutes to clear his head. Then he gathered his clothing together into a neat pile for the maids to wash when they cleaned the room. When he finished, he looked up to see Conrad watching him. "Conrad," he said hesitantly.
Conrad went over to Shori and kissed him. "It's time for you to go, Shori. I promise I'll be here waiting for you to come back."
Conrad's words gave him a strange sort of reassurance, and Shori made a face. "How can you say stuff like that with a straight face?" he asked as he left the room. Conrad didn't follow him, and after a moment, he stuck his head back in. Conrad was staring up at the ceiling with a rueful expression, as though he were appealing a higher power. "Are you coming or not?"
Conrad looked at him. "That's a silly question, isn't it?" he asked as he stepped out into the hall.
And really, it was.
(I especially, especially love the way I ended this. Because it's not over, you know? Just beginning and all that rot. And I still love the fact that Conrad hasn't said I love you. And really, doing this commentary, I've rediscovered how very fond of this story I am in general, and how angsty I am that the recipient never told me how she felt about it. But yes, this ending is my strange attempt at a realistic happily-ever-after possibility for them, because I'm that lame.
Anyway, that's it for my commentary. It's been fun!)
*fin*
*
Shori had absolutely no idea how people managed to stay so calm before a battle. His palms were sweaty, his stomach was cramped, and he’d cleaned his glasses five times in the last three minutes. The women of the castle were shutting all the doors against the encroaching dolls and the soldiers were all on standby, but the next part of the plan weighed heavily on him and his newfound control over his maryoku.
"Are you ready?" Conrad asked him. He stopped at Shori’s side and watched the scene before them. Soldiers all around them were pulling out their swords and readying themselves against the dolls. Shori estimated that he probably had about two minutes before they were reached and the battle began.
"After this, we need to talk," He said to Conrad. This was a bad time to mention it, considering that he didn’t even really know how he felt about Conrad in the first place and probably wouldn’t have made plans to confront any of it if he weren’t facing almost certain death, but he couldn’t retract the words once they’d slipped past his lips.
Conrad looked at him and nodded. "Yes."
(Conrad's thinking: Oh my god, this is break up talk. We haven't even gone out, and he wants to break up with me. Life sucks.)
Then it was time, and Shori allowed his power to well up inside of him and explode out. The dragons, he decided, were really much more aesthetically pleasing than the giant hand he had used before, and he felt a glow of pride as it all merged together to form the bridge they needed. After that, it was a blur of colors and sounds; it would have been overwhelming if he hadn’t been focusing so completely on his maryoku. They made their way to the temple, dolls growing heavier in numbers and more difficult to defeat every step of the way.
Ulrike’s maryoku flared out from her hands, and she called out, "Everyone! I’ll hold them back. Go to the temple and find His Majesty!"
Conrad grabbed his arm and tugged him along, and if Shori hadn’t been so grateful that he wasn’t left behind, he would have been upset that Conrad thought he needed babysitting.
The first thing Shori felt when he saw Yuuri and Murata in the courtyard of Shinou’s temple was pure relief. Yuuri wasn’t injured. Everything would be fine.
"Yuuri!" Wolfram called out, and would have gone to him if Conrad hadn’t stopped him.
"That isn’t Yuuri, Wolfram," Conrad said.
"What did you do to my brother?" Shori asked Murata, his relief replaced by anger and fear.
Murata shrugged, his glasses hiding his eyes. "I only watched over him."
Shori took a step forward. "Give Yuuri back!"
"It’s too late," Murata said softly. "It’s Shinou’s body now."
Wolfram shook his head frantically. "No, I don’t believe this. Yuuri!"
Shinou raised his arm and Shori jumped forward just in time to activate a shield to protect them. It wasn’t Yuuri, it was Shinou. All Shori had to remember was that distinction. It wasn’t his brother he was going to hurt.
"Can you kill him?" Murata asked mildly, still perched on the rock behind Yuuri.
Shori’s attack did absolutely nothing, and he stared at Shinou in a daze. "You’re… Yuuri?"
Wolfram clenched his hands into fists. "Are you saying we have to kill Yuuri? I can’t do it. I can’t hurt him."
Murata laughed. "Then Shinou wins. He’ll dominate the world."
"Then it doesn’t matter who he is…" Gwendal pulled his sword.
"Big brother!" Wolfram protested. "We can’t do this! It’s Yuuri!"
"It must be done." Gwendal and Huber charged toward Shinou. Shinou smirked, their attacks bouncing harmlessly off of him. He sent them flying with a wave of his hand. Conrad stalked ahead and pulled his sword.
"Conrad!" both Shori and Wolfram yelled.
He continued to walk resolutely forward. "I’m thinking of Yuuri, and I know he would do this. He would put everyone’s well-being ahead of his own. I’m not giving up. I’ll get him back. For all of us."
Shinou frowned. "I don’t think I like the way you’re looking at me." The last unopened box floated behind him. "I’ll show you something that will change that steadfast expression." He smiled. "What do you think would happen if this box was opened?"
Wolfram frowned. "We don’t know what the key is for that."
"We don’t," Shori responded. "But I think that he does."
"The key for the fourth box," Shinou continued. "Is Lady Suzanna Julia." He clenched his hand above the box, his nails biting into his palm. Conrad froze. "This body is now the key." A small trickle of blood dripped down his fist, and they all watched helplessly as a ruby drop fell and hit the box.
(Okay, this here is less a story rant, and more of a gigantic plot hole. Erhard von Wincott is the original key holder. And Julia is a direct descendant. However, Yuuri isn't related by blood to the Wincott family! The fact that he has her soul does not mean that he has her genetics! If we were going along the family blood-line thing, then the key should have either been Julia's father, or maybe that cute little cousin of hers who worshiped Anissina. It should not, in any way, shape form or fashion, have been Yuuri. Can someone explain this to me so that it makes sense?? Because wikipedia says that Yuuri inherited the key because he has Julia's soul. That's wrong wrong wrong! I hate when kkm doesn't make any sense!)
There was an explosion of dark energy as Soushu’s power was restored completely. When the dust had cleared, Shinou was still standing before them unharmed and now near-invincible. He smirked.
"Julia…" Conrad whispered, his face completely open in shock.
"This is what she died for?" Huber wondered.
Shori couldn’t help but stare, silent and open-mouthed, at how well-planned this entire thing had been. If it hadn’t involved his family, he might have been impressed. "You waited so long, and for what?"
At that moment, the pendant that Shori had grown used to seeing on Yuuri materialized on Shinou’s chest and began to glow painfully bright. They all stared dumbly at it until they were distracted by a whistling sound above them. Shori jumped back in surprise as Gunter and Dacascos fell from the sky to land in front of them. "What the hell?" he gasped.
"Oh!" Dacascos wailed. "I thought I was going to die!"
"Gunter!" Wolfram cried. "Morgif! What about Morgif?"
"Morgif is.." Gunter looked up, and they all followed his eyes to the dark, threatening sword above them.
Shinou looked at Morgif, and Murata moved for the first time, jumping off his rock and watching Yuuri hopefully. "Now, Shibuya! Fufill the wish that Shinou has carried for the past 4,000 years! Please, Shibuya. Free him."
Shori blinked. "Am I the only one completely confused?" He was completely ignored as Shinou grasped Morgif.
(I love it when characters have no clue what's really going on. I really don't know if this was in character for Shori, either, but it's exactly what I thought when I read the transcripts for the end of the series.)
Shinou stopped and shook his head, his forehead creasing in confusion. Slowly, his expression cleared. "You’re right, Murata. I can’t give up." He turned to look at Conrad and Wolfram, and smiled. "I’m sorry I worried you guys."
"Yuuri, you wimp!" Wolfram yelled, although it was clear in his eyes he was happy to see him, "You’re so hard to keep track of! You should think about your poor fiancé when you’re running around and getting possessed by ghosts!"
"I’m sorry, I’m sorry," Yuuri said apologetically.
"Yuu-chan," Shori said, and smiled along with the others in relief.
"Hey, Conrad, are you and Gwendal okay?" Yuuri asked.
"Yes, Your Majesty," Conrad answered.
Gwendal took a step forward and frowned. "Behind you… is that Shinou?"
Yuuri jumped back, and they all stared at the dark shadow behind him. The pendant was in the center of the cloud of darkness, intensely bright despite its surroundings.
"You were able to expel him?" Gwendal continued, and shot Yuuri an approving look.
"I think so," Yuuri said uncertainly. He turned to Murata. "Murata, what exactly is Soushu anyhow? Will you tell me?"
Murata sighed, scratching the back of his head. "Even when we fought it, we weren’t able to understand. Soushu is something that has the suffering and pain of the world. That’s why it gets into people’s hearts so easily, and why it’s so hard to defeat. Shinou thought that if we could find a container for it, it might not—"
Shori frowned. "So, Yuuri was the holder?"
Murata shook his head. "No. Shinou’s soul was what contained Soushu. Yuuri was chosen to be the one to accept Shinou’s soul, and become the strongest Maou to ever rule Shinma koku."
Gwendal shook his head. "It seems that everything was planned from the very beginning."
"I wasn’t sure if it was going to work, but…" Murata turned to Yuuri. "Shibuya, you have to save him."
Yuuri grinned. "I guess I can’t let you down, can I?" Dolls filtered into the courtyard, but Shori ignored them as he stared at his brother.
"Shori!" Shori turned at the sound of his name just as Conrad destroyed a doll that had been about to attack him.
"I don’t need you to protect me!" Shori yelled, startled.
(This part was inserted into the story to remind myself that this was about Shori and Conrad, not about Yuuri. Besides, it would have been boring to have Shori keep his eyes on Yuuri anyway, since the entire battle there is internal.)
"Then protect yourself!" Conrad answered, and cut down another enemy. Shori scowled and struck at two dolls with his maryoku, sending them crumbling to the ground. He managed to get three more before Yuuri made a triumphant sound and the dolls collapsed. Shori spared the mutilated dolls the barest of glances before looking back to his brother. Yuuri smiled at everyone, and Shori wondered if that meant it was over.
Shinou appeared before them, and Shori took a step back, bumping into Conrad, who placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
Shinou smiled gratefully at Yuuri. "Thank you, Yuuri. I’m glad I chose you." Yuuri rubbed a bashful hand over his face as Shinou turned to Murata. "I gave you a lot of pain."
"I made a promise," Murata said with a smile. "It was my duty to fulfill your wishes. Now that it’s over though, I can forget my memories as the Great Sage."
"If I’m reborn," Shinou said, "I have a feeling that we’ll meet once again."
Murata gave him a respectful nod. "I can’t watch over you anymore, but it would be nice." Shinou smiled at Murata and vanished. Murata looked out over the courtyard. "Where’s Ulrike?"
"She was fighting—" Shori began, but was interrupted as Ulrike made her way into the entrance. She looked heartbroken.
"I’m here!" Ulrike called out, her voice strong despite her sad expression.
"Shibuya," Murata turned to Yuuri. "It’s time for us to go."
"What?" Yuuri said uncertainly.
"Now that Shinou is gone," Ulrike replied, "This is the last chance we’ll have to send you between dimensions." She raised her hands, closing her eyes in concentration. A large portal appeared.
"This is…" Yuuri looked around at his friends desperately.
"This is the last of his strength," Murata confirmed.
Shori took a breath as understanding struck him. "I see. It’s thanks to Shinou’s power that we can go between dimensions, and when that power disappears…"
"If we don’t take this chance," Murata said. "We might never get back to earth."
"But!" Yuuri said. "What is… I mean, how…?"
This is the last time, Shori thought, and glanced at Conrad, who was watching Yuuri. It looked like they wouldn't have that talk after all.
"Go, Yuuri!" Wolfram cried. "Your family is waiting for you. Do you want to make your parents sad?"
"No, but—" Yuuri trailed off. "Wolfram…"
"My fiancé is not so cruel!" Wolfram insisted. "Go!"
"It’s your decision," Shori said abruptly as he watched his brother grow increasingly desperate. "If you want to stay, then stay. I won’t force you to come back." He briefly considered staying himself, but he shook the idea away. There wasn’t anything for him here anyway except his ability to use maryoku. He looked at Conrad again and reached out a hand, hesitating briefly before he pulled it back and went to stand next to the portal.
"I really love Shinma koku," Yuuri said. "At first I didn’t think I’d be a good king, but… I’m happy here."
"Leave it to us," Gwendal said, smiling softly.
Josak ruffled his hair. "I really liked you, kiddo."
Huber bowed. "I will never forget your mercy, Your Majesty."
Yuuri looked at Conrad uncertainly. Conrad said, "Even if you go to a far away place, I’ll continue to watch over you for as long as I live." His eyes flickered over to Shori, and he clearly read the message there: Keep him safe for me. Shori accepted the silent request with a nod of his head—it was his duty in the first place. He would be the only one on earth who could take care of Yuuri now. He had won against Shinma koku and the strange devotion Yuuri and his kingdom shared.
He wondered why it felt like such a hollow victory.
Yuuri smiled at them a final time and turned toward the portal. "See you." Wolfram screamed Yuuri’s name as they walked toward the portal. Yuuri didn’t turn around. "Farewell," he said, and vanished to earth.
I’m ready, Shori thought as he and Murata followed. If there was one good thing about being a supporting character, it was this: They didn’t have to say good-bye.
(This entire scene was brought to you by my inability to write action scenes, and also by basic translations that were floating around online at the time. I'm pretty sure at least a quarter of this story is actual canon, and that makes me feel lazy and guilty. No more transcribing and mutilating for me, kthnx!
But here at the end, this is Shori's realization that maybe he was actually going to break up with Conrad before anything had actually started between them, and that he might have wanted something more than he would have permitted himself. This is where Shori shows himself to be the coward he'd accused Conrad of being, because he's the one running away from it all. And not admitting that if Yuuri hadn't been there, he might have asked Conrad to come with him. Maybe.)
*
After that, everything returned to normal. Yuuri played baseball and rode his bike and did things a normal teenager should do.
Shori continued his internship with Bob, played his dating sims and continued college. Bob asked him why he was still studying so hard to be the Maou of earth when the reason he first accepted was superfluous. Shori thought about the silent promise he made to Conrad and replied that his will to protect Yuuri hadn’t changed, and that Bob should be satisfied with that.
Sometimes he would see Yuuri looking wistfully at the fountain in the park, and he wondered if his brother had made the right choice.
Sometimes he thought about what Conrad would have done if he had kissed him back, and wondered if he could have made a better one.
(That's a lie. It's not sometimes. It's all the time. That's why he spends so much time with Bob, because if he's busy, then he has less time to think. He's also really confused, because, yeah. It was just a kiss. And he shouldn't think about something like that, especially since they'll never see each other again, and won't be able to do anything about it. Shori's sort of contradictory there, though, since he thinks about the kiss because there's absolutely no way they will meet again, so he can fawn and pine to his heart's content without consequences. Coward.)
*
It was the middle of summer when Shori decided he needed a new dating sim to entertain himself, and he went to the gaming store to scope out the newest releases. He found a yaoi game shelved incorrectly with the normal dating sims and picked it up. He flipped it over to look at the back out of curiosity and was struck by a character drawn with warm brown eyes.
(Conrad has managed to ruin dating sims for Shori. He hates the world. But he's also totally in love. Oh, yes.)
"Oh!" The sales girl exclaimed. Shori jumped guiltily. "You come in here so often—I was wondering when you’d get curious about BL!"
(This sales girl is secretly in love with Shori, and has kept the list of all the dating sims he's interested in playing so that she can dig them out of the packaging when they come in and save them for him. She plays the sims herself so that she can talk about plot and development with him. She's really hoping here that it's an accident that he picked up a BL game, but is also imagining him with an attractive guy, and thinks it's hot.)
"No, I wasn’t—this character," he pointed to the cover, "It just… reminded me of someone, that’s all." He shook his head and set the game down. Picking up a BL game because it reminded him of Conrad Weller just told him that he was going insane. The next step would be staring off into space heaving wistful sighs and having sweaty, indecent dreams. Shori didn’t want to do either. "Never mind. I don’t think I want to get a game today. I’ll buy a couple over the weekend."
(Sales girl is shocked, and wants to hug Shori, because he has never left the store without a game and that means something's really bugging him. He obviously needs coddling, and maybe some comfort sex.)
Shori left the store and headed back home. It was crazy to think like this, especially when he wouldn’t ever see the other man again. It was quite possible that he was thinking like this because he wouldn’t ever see the other man again.
(He's such a contrary bastard! This relationship would never have gotten off the ground if it hadn't been for their forced separation.)
He was just about to go up the stairs to his room when Yuuri and Murata burst through the front door. He turned around to yell at them about running through the house when he caught sight of Yuuri’s smile, and felt his mouth move into an answering smile. "You went back, didn’t you?"
Yuuri glowed. "How did you know?"
Shori rolled his eyes. "I’m your brother. I know this stuff." His hand tightened on the banister. "How is… everyone?"
Murata laughed. "They’re all fine." He shot Shori an amused look as he went into the kitchen. "Conrad misses you, too."
Shori scowled. "That’s none of your business, friend of my brother."
(Shori thinks that Murata is the creepiest thing on earth right here. He had time to plan a millennia old conspiracy in order to free the original king from the presence of evil, and yet managed to keep an eye on a not-quite-fledgling relationship? Who is this kid?)
He headed up to his room, and as he closed his door, he heard Yuuri exclaim, "Why would Conrad miss Shori?"
Shori opened the door and shouted down to Yuuri, "I’m going with you next time!"
(Right here is one of the few moments of Shori speaking before he thinks. He doesn't want to see Conrad again, really. He's spent so much time fantasizing that he's afraid he'll do something stupid if he sees him again. Too late now, though. Yuuri would be too curious about it if Shori refused to go after being so adamant. Ha ha.)
*
Shori inhaled water and coughed as he broke the surface of the fountain in the courtyard of Shinou’s temple, Yuuri sputtering next to him. He could see the blurry lines of Wolfram and Conrad waiting for them and climbed out of the fountain, stumbling to a stop before Conrad as he pulled off his glasses to shake the water off. "We need to talk," he blurted out.
Conrad smiled fondly and tilted his head. "All right. Perhaps you should get into dry clothing first."
(Conrad is so shocked to see Shori here that he automatically defaults into sweet and stoic. When he has time to think again, he'll want to bang his head into the wall, because seriously. He has to have a crush on a guy so anal retentive that he crosses over dimensions so that he can continue the break up. Why can't Shori be satisfied with a few deep and meaningful glances?!)
"And have dinner!" Yuuri said enthusiastically. "I’m starving!"
"Yes," Shori agreed, his sudden enthusiasm dampening. "Of course."
(Shori has just remembered that he's traveling with Yuuri, and has no idea what he wants to say to Conrad. He's also quite sure that whatever he has to say to Conrad is relatively gay in nature, and therefore something that Yuuri doesn't ever need to hear.)
Drying off and having dinner before speaking to Conrad about whatever was going on between them had been the original plan, but after dinner Greta wanted to play catch with him, and after Greta got tired, Anissina claimed him as her assistant for her inventions, and after he managed to free himself from Anissina’s clutches, Gunter cornered him in the hallway to gush about how wonderful it was that they were both in Shinma koku once again and that he hoped that now that the boxes were dealt with there would be a new era of companionship between the two worlds.
(Shori's really creeped out by Gunter's dark-hair-and-eyes fetish, and kind of thinks of him as pervy, even though he's pretty. Pervy old man. Seriously. Once again, of course, he doesn't realize that Conrad is over a hundred, and he doesn't find out about it until Conrad's next birthday. That conversation goes something like this:
Shori: Oh god, you're like, one hundred and nine years old???
Conrad: (fondly) Yes. And you're thinking I'm a perverted old man right now, aren't you?
Shori: Yes! Yes, I am!
Yay communication! As you can see, their communication skills are obviously much better after some time has passed.)
It was late when Shori finally managed to make his way to his room, and he barely had the energy to change into his pajamas before sleep claimed him.
*
It was the last day of his visit when Shori began to suspect that Conrad might be avoiding him. Conrad was always just leaving the room Shori was entering; he was busy helping Gwendal with affairs of the state; he was playing baseball in the field with Yuuri.
(Story-wise, Conrad's totally avoiding Shori. He thinks if he ignores The Talk long enough, Shori will give up and forget about it and Conrad can go about without being officially rejected.
In muse!space however? Shori!muse and Gwendal!muse were having fights about what 'affairs of state' really meant.
It was really much funnier than it sounds.)
It was sheer luck that he stumbled onto Conrad when he did—Shori was exasperated with the entire thing and had gone outside to brood, and found Conrad training his regiment. After a moment of contemplation, he set himself out of the way and proceeded to watch him. Conrad was friendly with his soldiers, but kept himself distanced enough to maintain a clear chain of command. He listened to concerns and demonstrated difficult moves.
Shori felt like a stalker.
(Conrad's soldiers are busy being very amused by Shori. But it's not like it's unusual for them—people come to stare at Conrad like love-sick stalkers all the time. However, they are very protective of their captain, so Conrad often doesn't know he has stalkers at all.)
When the practice was over, Shori went to Conrad, who didn’t appear surprised to see him. "Hello," Conrad said.
(Conrad clued in that Shori was there about three seconds after he decided to watch the practice. He's embarrassed that he's so hyper-aware of Shori. And also dismayed because he hasn't been able to avoid The Talk. And also proud of himself that he managed to remain cool even with Shori watching him.
Shori just wishes Conrad would mess up, just a little bit, on something not important, just to make him feel a little less like a nervous preteen.)
"Hello," Shori answered.
Conrad sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I suppose it’s time for our talk."
"That would be nice, considering you’ve avoided me the entire week." Shori answered coolly.
(Shori is upset and hurt. Conrad feels guilty.)
"As you can see, I just finished practice. Perhaps I can meet you later?"
"I’ll give you an hour." Shori said. "We need to get this over with."
Conrad cast his eyes downward and nodded. "All right. I’ll come to your room in an hour." Shori watched him walk away and fought the childish urge to throw something at his head, choosing instead to stalk away in the other direction.
(They are five. Shori would totally be the type to pull Conrad's pigtails and dump sand over his head. If, you know, Conrad had pigtails and they had anything like a sandbox available.)
Shori took a deep breath and crossed his arms as he made his way to his room, silently rehearsing the words he wanted to say. It couldn’t be as simple as ‘I missed you, and I’m sorry.’ Nothing ever went that easy. Shori ran a hand through his hair. Perhaps Conrad had the right idea. It was so easy to think of what you wanted to say and do when you were far away from someone, but knowing that any moment you would be face to face with them, and that you’d have to say something or let the opportunity slip away… it terrified him.
He found himself pacing as he carefully counted the minutes, excitement and anxiety twisting his insides. He finally settled down with a book when Conrad entered.
"I’m early," Conrad said apologetically.
"It’s all right," Shori said, setting his book aside. He stood up and tugged at his sleeves nervously.
"What was it that you wanted to say?" Conrad asked.
Shori was frozen. He could feel his heart beating into his throat, but he couldn’t force a sound.
Conrad frowned in concern and took a step toward him. "Shori?"
"I…" Shori began. "It’s your fault I’m like this!" He crossed his arms defensively over his chest and scowled.
Conrad blinked. "I’m sorry?"
"I wasn’t going to come back," Shori said. "After all, what’s there to talk about if you never see each other, right?" Conrad remained silent, and Shori continued. "This isn’t normal. I can’t stop thinking about you. I hate it."
Conrad’s eyes softened. "You missed me?"
Shori focused his eyes on the lamp next to his bed. "I don’t know why. We only ever talked when there was something bizarre happening, but then you kissed me and I barely remember what it felt like, but it’s keeping me up at night. I dreamed about you before I came back. I wonder what would have happened if I…" Shori shot Conrad a betrayed look. "I looked at a BL sim because of you!"
"I apologize." Conrad said, but he had the beginning of a smile that belied his words. "It sounds traumatic."
(All of Conrad's angst just floods out of him, right here. If he were a girl, he'd be twirling around and sing-songing 'he likes me, he likes me, he really really likes me!' He is now in denial that he ever had any doubt whatsoever about the outcome.
Shori hasn't quite reached this level of self-realization, and is winding himself up in hopes that Conrad will step in and take over and make everything simpler.)
"It was." Shori agreed, embarrassed by his tirade. "You should do something about it."
Conrad’s smile widened, and he took a step toward Shori. "You have an odd way of saying you’d like me to kiss you again."
"I didn’t say that!" Shori protested.
"Does that mean I’m wrong?" Conrad asked. He took advantage of Shori’s silence to close the distance between them, his hand cupping the back of Shori’s neck and pulling him forward. Conrad was exceedingly gentle, pressing his lips chastely against Shori’s in a light caress. Shori allowed his eyes to close as Conrad kissed him again, tilting his head to get a better angle.
Conrad carefully removed Shori’s glasses, and Shori watched as he set them on the table. "I can’t see without them," he said. Conrad was close enough to be clear, but the rest of the room was blurred in various degrees.
"You won’t need them," Conrad assured, "and I wanted the opportunity to do this." He pulled Shori close again, letting his hands caress Shori’s jaw as he guided him into a better position. Kissing wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable without his glasses, Shori realized, and he clenched a hand on Conrad’s sleeve as he darted his tongue out to lick Conrad’s lower lip.
Conrad hummed delightedly and parted his lips, deepening the kiss. It was warm and wet and Conrad didn’t taste anything like Shori had imagined. It was easy to say someone tasted of chocolate or sweet as cream or any number of things, really, but Conrad didn’t taste like anything at all. Conrad’s tongue glided against his own, and Shori shivered, breathing a soft sound. One of Conrad’s hands slipped down the line of his back, resting against the curve of his spine and urging him closer. Shori’s hands kneaded Conrad’s uniform, one hand remaining clenched in the sleeve and the other tentatively running over his shoulder. One kiss melted into several, and even though his lungs were beginning to ache, Shori didn’t want to stop even one second to take a breath.
They eventually parted for air, and Conrad pressed a kiss to the underside of Shori’s jaw, panting lightly. "We should stop."
"Why?" Shori asked breathlessly, tilting his head back to give Conrad better access.
"Because I need to stop while I still can." Conrad said, running his fingers leisurely up Shori’s back.
(Commentary for porn is always a little embarrassing. Conrad is obviously trying to be a gentleman here, and Shori doesn't understand why. He's sort of going, "hey, wait, isn't there supposed to be sex after a confession?" He's really bad about the whole thing, in general. He realizes he could say no, but it's like. Conrad. Who's being considerate, and imminently kissable. Maybe he's not so bad at the whole thing after all. I certainly can't fault his priorities. :D )
"And… if I don’t want you to stop?" Shori asked quietly, feeling a flush creep over his cheeks at being so forward. He unbuttoned Conrad’s jacket and slipped his hands inside, fingers stroking along the lines and ridges of Conrad’s muscles. He sighed at the warmth as he nestled closer, etching patterns against Conrad’s back.
Conrad trembled and pressed his lips against Shori’s temple. "Have you ever done anything like this before?"
Shori glared at Conrad. "Of course not! Who has time for girls when you have a precious younger brother to protect?"
Conrad laughed and ran a hand through Shori’s hair. "You’re not worried?"
"Should I be?" Shori asked before pressing his lips to the hollow of Conrad’s throat.
"I’ll be gentle," Conrad promised
Shori shot him another irritated look. "Did I ask you? I’m not a child. I can take it. Do what you want."
(I love virgin!Shori. I realize now that it could be a cop out, I guess, but it never even occurred to me once that Shori's had sex before. And he's so bossy, and still feels the need to control the situation, as if his lack of experience is a bad thing. The interactions between them while they're having sex are some of my favorite parts of dialogue. It totally shows me what kind of relationship they'll end up having—with Conrad being the doting one, trying not to smother but still give enough affection that Shori doesn't think of himself as second place, and Shori, who will sometimes try the boundaries of what they are but will always come back because there's nowhere else he'd rather be.)
Conrad’s eyes darkened, and he shoved Shori onto the bed. Shori sprawled out over the duvet and propped himself up on his elbows, watching as Conrad removed his jacket. Shori licked his lips as Conrad crawled onto the bed, straddling him and biting at his mouth. Shori gasped and wrapped his arms around Conrad’s neck, pressing up against him. "I missed you," Conrad murmured against Shori’s mouth between kisses. "No one looks at me like you do."
Shori laughed. "Malevolently?"
Conrad pulled away slightly, eyebrow quirking as he stared down at Shori. "Like you’re waiting for the perfect opportunity to bite me." That was simply too good to resist, and Shori leaned up to bite hard at the junction between Conrad’s shoulder and throat. Conrad moaned, and the sound sent a jolt of sensation directly to his cock. Shori made a small sound and squirmed beneath Conrad’s weight.
(Right here is where Conrad starts to think that Shori might actually be playful in bed, of all things, and that is just unbelievably hot. Conrad is very happy and horny. And he also thinks that he has the most adorably prickly boyfriend in the history of ever.)
"You’re so impatient," Conrad said fondly, and thrust down. Shori clenched his eyes shut and wriggled again, wanting more contact. It all looked so easy in the H-scenes of his dating sims, but he was almost at his limit just by kissing. It was embarrassing. Then Conrad unwound Shori’s arms from his neck and crossed them above Shori’s head, holding his wrists in place with one hand as his other went for the buttons on Shori’s shirt. He kissed a line down Shori’s chest and continued downward, flipping the button on Shori’s trousers.
"What are you—" Shori tugged against Conrad’s grip. Conrad smiled and kissed Shori’s collarbone.
"It’s okay," Conrad whispered as he slid his hand into Shori’s pants and wrapped his fingers around his cock.
"Ahh!" Shori cried out, clenching his eyes shut and turning his face to the side. He felt flushed and restless as he tried to yank his wrists out of Conrad’s grasp, and he writhed as Conrad squeezed him. "Conrad!"
Conrad nuzzled Shori’s throat, and Shori made a choking sort of growl as he canted his hips upward. Conrad wasn’t bothering to remove Shori’s trousers, and that made every movement short and tight, with just enough friction to keep him wound up and anxious but not nearly enough to push him over the edge.
Shori’s eyes fluttered open, and he glared at Conrad, who was watching him with a look in his eyes that made Shori flush hotter. "Please," he gritted out, and Conrad smiled, twisting his hand in a way that must have hurt his wrist. Shori gasped, arching at the sensation, and clenched his hands into helpless fists. His eyes shut again as Conrad kissed him, and he cried out into Conrad’s mouth as he climaxed.
Shori slumped back down on the bed bonelessly, trying to catch his breath and responding to Conrad’s kiss, lazy and slow. It had all finished much faster than he’d anticipated, but he was too pleasantly warm at the moment to really care. Conrad pulled away from the kiss, releasing Shori’s wrists and kissing Shori’s fingertips gently before easing off him.
(This is something I don't think you ever see enough of in fic. Where one or both of the characters is so hyped up on the moment that they have absolutely no stamina. Especially with first times. Muh. *squishes Shori*)
"Mmm?" Shori mumbled, rumpled and a little dazed. "Where are you going?"
Conrad smiled at him. "I’ll be right back. There’s something I forgot."
Shori sat up, forehead creased in puzzlement. "You’re actually leaving?"
Conrad leaned over and kissed him. "Trust me," he said, and hurried out the door.
Shori scratched his head and flopped back down on the bed. His trousers were damp and starting to get sticky, so he sighed, kicking off his shoes and yanking his trousers off. He was in the process of removing his shirt when Conrad reappeared. Shori yelped in surprise and dove for the bed.
Conrad tilted his head and set a jar on the bedside table. "Are you all right?"
"I…" Shori blushed at how stupid he’d just been. "Yes."
(This nudity thing was actually an in joke for myself. I had just read a fic where Gwendal freaked out about being nude in front of another man, and was like, oh, that writer must totally be American, because we're the ones with the nudity taboo. Not once in all of KKM does anyone seem the least bit body shy.
Character-wise, though, Shori didn't freak out because he was nude, he freaked out because he didn't expect Conrad to show back up, and didn't know how to react. So he reacted with dumb.)
"Good," Conrad said, watching Shori warily. "Do you want to continue?"
Shori didn’t bother with an answer, placing a kiss at the open neck of Conrad’s undershirt. He unbuttoned it carefully, lavishing licks and small bites on every inch he uncovered. Conrad shrugged out of his shirt and gently pushed Shori back, taking a moment to remove the rest of his clothes before joining Shori on the bed.
Shori felt absurdly shy, and reached out to trace the line of a pale scar. Conrad captured his hand and pulled him closer, turning his head and sucking red marks down Shori’s neck. Shori followed Conrad’s lead, licking up Conrad’s jaw and biting his ear, his hands trailing over Conrad’s chest. There was something strangely comfortable and intimate about taking the time to feel someone like this, touching and exploring without a rush. Shori discovered that Conrad hissed his breath out when Shori scraped his fingernails over his back; Conrad managed to find the one ticklish spot just above the jut of Shori’s hip. Shori found himself obsessed with Conrad’s mouth, unable to go more than a few seconds without kissing him, nibbling his lips swollen and swallowing Conrad’s moans greedily. Conrad seemed entranced by the line of Shori’s neck, nuzzling and sucking it often enough that Shori was positive he’d have quite a few marks to explain away the next day.
(I have a kink for really lovely, slow, delicious foreplay. I've never been able to reach the level of quality that I like, but in the right circumstances, the longer the touching goes on the happier a reader I am. There's something beautiful in learning a lover's body, the way all the bits and pieces fit together and feel against a mouth or fingertips. I can imagine Conrad and Shori being the type to love searching out the little details.)
Conrad brushed back a strand of Shori’s hair, and Shori noticed that he was shaking just a little. "Are you ready?"
Shori trailed his hands down Conrad’s abdomen to grasp his cock and squeeze. Conrad dropped his head to Shori’s shoulder, exhaling slowly. "I was ready a long time ago," Shori said with a smile. "I just wanted to hear you ask." Conrad yanked his head up, staring at Shori with a pained sort of exasperation. "I told you to do what you wanted, didn’t I?"
(Oh, Shori. Of course you'd make Conrad ask. You need the validation.)
"Unbelievable," Conrad shook his head, unable to stop a laugh.
"Come here," Shori said, and straddled Conrad’s lap, breathing a moan as the movement brought their erections together. Conrad set a hand on Shori’s hip, stretching to reach the jar that he’d left on the table. Shori took it from Conrad and opened it, looking at the contents. "I didn’t even think about this," he confessed as he scooped up a liberal helping of lubricant.
"I know you didn’t," Conrad agreed. "But I thought you might appreciate the courtesy."
"I get to do this next time, don’t I?" Shori asked as he smoothed the lubricant over Conrad, squeezing and moving his hand up and down a couple of times to make sure Conrad was completely coated.
"If you’d like," Conrad said, and pushed a finger into Shori. Shori tensed at the uncomfortable sensation, but Conrad was right there to kiss him to distraction. After a few minutes, it wasn’t as painful. The friction was making him heat up again, and he squirmed as Conrad’s fingers twisted inside of him.
"Conrad!" Shori said, grabbing Conrad’s shoulders as he pushed his hips against his fingers.
"Just a bit more," Conrad said, and then his fingers brushed over a spot that caused Shori to see white.
"Don’t do that again!" Shori gasped. "That’s too… I mean, I…"
(I read, once, in a discussion of realistic anal sex, that some people don’t like the prostate to be manipulated very much, because it's too intense, or a little painful, or just the fact that the anal sex itself is strange enough that one doesn't need the extra stimulation. In fic, we often go directly for the whole prostate angle, so I thought it'd be fun to leave that out. And Shori seems like the type of person who would let you know if something wasn't to his liking.)
"I understand," Conrad said, a smirk tilting the corner of his mouth. "I’m overwhelming you."
"Don’t be so smug." Shori scowled. Conrad removed his fingers and positioned himself carefully at Shori’s entrance. Shori pressed down slowly, allowing Conrad’s hand on his hip to guide him. "Oh," Shori breathed as Conrad filled him. "Ow…"
(Ha ha. Here's another thing that I'm amused about. From what I understand, it's easier to do the anal sex thing on hands and knees, so of course Shori has to pick a difficult position to begin with. It's just the type of person he is.)
"Are you okay?" Conrad asked, stopping immediately.
"I didn’t tell you to stop!" Shori chided him. Conrad thrust again, and Shori closed his eyes. It burned, but that was already mostly fading as Conrad pulled back out. Shori arched his back, matching each thrust with one of his own, incoherent sounds only occasionally pushing their way past his lips. The entire world narrowed down to the smooth push and slide of Conrad inside of him, the heat of the contact between them, the way pleasure was gathering at the base of his spine that made him squirm for anything more—more speed, more friction, more of Conrad. Conrad pulled him down into a rough kiss, and pulled out of him. Shori whined, hands scrabbling for purchase on Conrad’s chest.
The kiss turned into a roll, and Shori had just enough time to register that Conrad was on top of him before the next hard thrust. Shori yelped, having absolutely no idea what to do with his legs, just knowing that Conrad had a hand on his back, supporting him as he pushed in. Shori mewled pathetic little gasps as Conrad slammed into him again and again, barely taking the time to press Shori’s leg to the mattress and pull the other over his shoulder and Shori didn’t even know how it had become so hard so fast. He panted, shaking sweat from his eyes as words spilled out, things like Conrad and please and Oh God, and he twisted up to bite at Conrad’s mouth and dig his fingernails into the raised ridges of the scars on Conrad’s back.
"Shori," Conrad said, and Shori choked out a sob, his orgasm knocked out of him with his breath. Conrad collapsed on top of him, breath quick and hot against his shoulder, and Shori dragged his fingers through Conrad’s hair, letting his leg fall from Conrad’s shoulder into a more comfortable position.
Shori held onto Conrad until his own breathing slowed, and Conrad raised his head. "I’m sorry," Conrad apologized.
"Don’t ruin the moment by being stupid," Shori complained, letting his head fall back onto the pillow as he traced aimless patterns against Conrad’s shoulder. Conrad laughed softly and nodded, shifting his weight off of Shori and settling at his side. Shori shifted with him, finding nothing wrong with using Conrad as a pillow. "So." Shori said.
"So." Conrad answered, brushing his fingers through Shori’s hair.
(Hello, post-sex awkwardness. Have I mentioned that I love you? And yes, Conrad's afraid of pushing Shori too far, and Shori finds it kind of annoying. But the mood would totally be ruined for Conrad if he hurt his partner accidentally, so the concern is just something that Shori will have to learn to accept.)
"I think I might love you. Is that okay?"
"I think I could be persuaded to accept your confession," Conrad laughed, and Shori elbowed him in the ribs.
"I'm serious," Shori said. "What are we going to do?"
Conrad sighed. "The best that we can."
Shori sat up and looked down at Conrad. "That's a completely useless plan."
Conrad propped his chin on his hand. "What would you suggest?"
Shori pondered the question for a moment. "You should come work for me."
Conrad laughed and shook his head. "I have too many duties here that need my attention."
(I love this bit of conversation between them. I've grown out of the need to have my characters say "I love you" like a perfect storybook ending, so I like to change things. I love the uncertainty of Shori's confession, and how Conrad doesn't feel he even needs to return the words because it's so, so obvious how he feels. To him, at least. I'm sure there'll be insecurity down the road and he'll have to say the words eventually.)
There was a knock at the door, and Shori jumped out of bed, plastering himself against the back of the door. The movement was uncomfortable—he was already getting sore. "Yes?"
"Hey, it's time to go home!" Yuuri's voice came through door clearly, and Shori winced as the doorknob turned. His face turned even more miserable as semen started trickling down his stomach. Conrad raised a hand to his mouth to stifle his laughter. "Are you ready to go?"
(Shori wants to die. Now that he has his boyfriend and no longer hates the world, the world decides to rub that hatred back at him, because why else would his little brother be outside the door just as he's finished having his first gay sex? Shori's about to have an aneurysm. Conrad just thinks Shori's reaction is the most adorable thing evars.)
"No," Shori answered. His eyes fell on his ruined trousers, and he shot Conrad a baleful look. "I have to change. I… spilled something on my clothes."
"Oh, okay. I'll meet you at the fountain, all right? I've got to say good-bye to everyone."
Conrad got up and retrieved Shori's shirt from the floor, dipping it into the basin and carefully wiping himself down.
"All right," Shori held his breath as he heard his brother's steps retreat, and heaved a relieved sigh.
"You handled that admirably," Conrad said, as he tossed Shori the damp shirt and went to his closet.
Shori caught the shirt. "I certainly wasn't going to expose my brother to my homosexual love affair!" Shori protested, and raked a hand through his hair. "What am I doing?"
Conrad cleared his throat, and Shori looked at him desperately. "Your clothing, Shori." He gestured at the armchair, where he'd laid out the new outfit.
(Also, how awesome is it that Conrad and Shori are the same size? I love that! Also, Murata totally knows they're wearing each other's clothes, and gossips about it with Josak later on.)
Shori stared at the armchair. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," Conrad said as he began to redress himself.
Shori took his time cleaning himself up and dressing, trying to use the few minutes to clear his head. Then he gathered his clothing together into a neat pile for the maids to wash when they cleaned the room. When he finished, he looked up to see Conrad watching him. "Conrad," he said hesitantly.
Conrad went over to Shori and kissed him. "It's time for you to go, Shori. I promise I'll be here waiting for you to come back."
Conrad's words gave him a strange sort of reassurance, and Shori made a face. "How can you say stuff like that with a straight face?" he asked as he left the room. Conrad didn't follow him, and after a moment, he stuck his head back in. Conrad was staring up at the ceiling with a rueful expression, as though he were appealing a higher power. "Are you coming or not?"
Conrad looked at him. "That's a silly question, isn't it?" he asked as he stepped out into the hall.
And really, it was.
(I especially, especially love the way I ended this. Because it's not over, you know? Just beginning and all that rot. And I still love the fact that Conrad hasn't said I love you. And really, doing this commentary, I've rediscovered how very fond of this story I am in general, and how angsty I am that the recipient never told me how she felt about it. But yes, this ending is my strange attempt at a realistic happily-ever-after possibility for them, because I'm that lame.
Anyway, that's it for my commentary. It's been fun!)
*fin*